Inquiries into the Absolute: Digest 55

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Digest 55, March 25, 2003

 

Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja

 

*** You are welcome to send in your questions to HH Romapada Swami at

iskcondc (AT) prastha (DOT) com with the word "Question" in the subject. ***

 

Spiritual advancement

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Q.1) Is there any sastric basis for regulated sex activities?

 

Answer:

In any system of yoga, restraint of the senses is an essential component. Most

systems of spiritual path, both within Vedic culture and elsewhere, demand

complete, or at least a very high degree of, abstinence from sense pleasures.

Celibacy is of particular importance because it makes one's mind peaceful,

without which there is no question of turning to the higher truths of life.

Even materially speaking, unregulated sex makes one's determination weak and

dissipates one's focus; Prabhupada even cited the example of Gandhi as evolving

into such a powerful leader of his nation because of his abstinence from sex.

 

'Brahmacarya' or celibacy is thus very much stressed in many places within

Bhagavad-gita and other Vedic literatures as essential for spiritual

advancement. Brahmacarya refers not just to complete abstinence or

renunciation, as it is often understood. Of course that is the standard for an

unmarried student (brahmacari) under the training of the spiritual master in a

gurukula, and this is certainly a mandate for other systems of yoga. But even

after entering household life one can maintain 'brahmacarya' by regulating sex

life according to religious principles and practice bhakti yoga. (Please refer

Bg As It Is 6. 13-14 purport).

 

Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita: 'dharmaviruddho bhutesu kamo 'smi

bharatarsabha': "I am that sex life which is not contrary to religious

principles." (Bg 7.11) Sex should be only within legitimate married relation,

and that also only for the purpose of procreation of children, and not

otherwise; then it is religious. And further when it is done so to raise one's

children in a spiritual atmosphere by giving those souls a chance for

God-realization, then it becomes a sacrifice, not a binding karmic knot. These

injunctions are certainly sastric and in fact very scientifically explained

with numerous references made to it within the Vedic culture/literatures. Even

until a few generations back such regulation was the normal way of life in

India in most cultured families.

 

On the other hand, unrestricted sex meant only for the purpose of sense

enjoyment and avoidance of the responsibility of children by use of

contraceptives and other such methods is completely unnatural and against the

design of God, and brings with it severe karmic repercussions and sufferings.

 

As far as procreating children is concerned, there are purificatory rites

called samskaras, which ensure that a pious soul is begotten and right from the

time of conception and while within the womb, the child's consciousness is

imprinted with godly qualities. This produces children of very high caliber

brahminical qualities. Thus the families of brahmanas, ksatriyas and vaishyas,

or the spiritually cultured families, would perform garbhadhana-samskara, or

seed-giving purificatory process (sudras are those who did not perform any

samskaras). In such families begetting children was not a secret affair but was

done after obtaining the permission and blessings of the spiritual master and

other brahmanas, and after performing the purificatory activities, which

sanctify the minds of the father and mother. The mentality of a child depends

on the mental status of the parents at the time of conception, and a child

conceived in such a sanctified atmosphere will thus be free of bad qu!

alities and mental disturbances. A child born without such purification was

understood to be sudra in the Vedic culture.

 

We see here the kind of great care and attention given to the welfare of

children even before their birth. However, when sex is viewed primarily as an

act of satisfying one's lust, and children as secondary by-products, this has

created numberless woeful anomalies and degradations in our present society.

 

There are references in Bhagavatam of the ill effects of untimely sex (History

of Kasyapa and Diti who gave birth to the asuras, Hiranyakasipu and

Hiranyaksha, SB Canto 3, Ch 16) and auspicious effects of sex under proper

religious principles (History of Kardama and Devahuti who had an incarnation of

the Lord, Lord Kapila, as their son, Canto 3, Ch 23) and many of these

principles and injunctions are explained therein. The Mahabharat discloses the

explicit timing for religious procreation to take place, namely once per month

when the wife is most fertile and thus likely to conceive a child. Otherwise,

Mahabharat enjoins, the act of sex, even within marriage, is not to be taken

up.

 

Q.2) Sometimes, we see that in ISKCON, the regulations regarding sex are so

hard that it leads to marriage failures, divorces, youth losing interest in

family lives, and other unwanted issues. Please share your thoughts on this and

forgive me for any unintended offenses.

 

Answer:

This is a very important yet often misunderstood issue; thank you for bringing

it up.

 

I find that the strongest component to a devotee marriage's durability is the

degree of commitment which the individuals have toward coming to the platform

of serving one another with genuine respect, with a commitment to thereby

remain under the benevolent and loving grace of guru and Krishna.

 

The basic bodily activities like eating, mating and sleeping, and social

activities like family and occupation, are generally considered hindrances on

the spiritual path. Nevertheless they are experienced as needs of the material

body for a conditioned soul, and for most people they cannot be prematurely

given up. Both premature renunciation as well as unrestricted enjoyment of

these needs pose serious threats to spiritual and material well-being of the

individual and the society, and hence the need for regulating them.

 

The Vedas give us directions by which they can be regulated in such a way that

our short human life can be reasonably disturbance-free and wherein our living

habits are conducive to gradual spiritual elevation. By accepting these

perfect God-given principles, far superior and more trustworthy than modern

research methods, our human life becomes very peaceful and progressive,

spiritually and even materially, quite contrary to the concerns you have

raised. The rules are not intended to make our life harder; rather they are

meant to mitigate our material pains as far as possible within this material

world and simultaneously elevate us to higher plane of transcendental pleasure.

 

For instance there are regulations for eating: one should eat only vegetarian

foods, and that also only when it is offered in sacrifice to the Lord - Krishna

prasadam. This may seem like a very hard rule in the beginning, but one who

knows the purpose and importance of this injunction and practices it, will soon

find it the most natural and compatible way of life; besides being spiritually

elevating it is also very healthy for the body and mind and is karma-free. In

the same light we can understand the rules and regulations regarding sex

activities.

 

The issues you have mentioned such as marriage failures and divorces within

ISKCON are just a microcosmic reflection of the society at large that we live

in. These same anomalies plague our larger society as well, where there are no

rules whatsoever! Why is that? On the contrary, as we discussed above, these

rules were the norm for many generations in the Vedic culture in which divorce

and the like were practically unheard of. The solidarity of the institution of

marriage could then withstand many tests of time. The root of the problem is

therefore not the difficulty of the regulations themselves, but in the lack of

their proper application. There are many testimonies within our society of

practicing devotees to verify that this way of lifestyle is not only 'do-able'

but has made their life sublime.

 

Without strong Krishna consciousness it is impossible to avoid the

contamination of this age of Kali, the real source of all these problems.

Marriage is a sacred institution intended to make one's mind peaceful and

progressively channel all members of the family towards Krishna; during one's

youth when the senses are very strong, marriage provides a safety net where one

is allowed to enjoy his/her senses in a regulated way and gradually transcend

it, and a properly trained devotee understands this actual purpose of marriage.

Marriage is not an arrangement to solve the question of lust, because lust

burns like fire and can never be satisfied, and this dissatisfaction is what

leads to marriage failures etc.

 

The process to become satisfied is however different: engagement in devotional

service. Householders are therefore required to engage themselves in Deity

worship. When fully engaged in this way, they develop a higher taste and thus

become fully satisfied. Along with any prohibition there is an injunction; the

prohibitions will certainly be burdensome only so long as one does not

diligently accept the many positive and superior engagements. But by such

better engagement one naturally forgets the lower pleasures even when offered

an opportunity. This is the real and lasting solution to any problem. (Cf. Bg

6.16-17, 3.39, 2.59).

 

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----- Festivals over the next week ------

Apr 11 2003, Friday Appearance Rama Navami: of Lord Sri Ramacandra (Fast)

(Fasting till sunset)

Apr 13 2003, Sunday Ekadasi Kamada (Break fast 05:34-09:57) (Fast)

Damanaka-ropana dvadasi

Apr 14 2003, Monday Beginning of Salagrama and Tulasi Jala Dana

Apr 16 2003, Wednesday Appearance Sri Vamsivadana Thakura

Appearance Sri Syamananda Prabhu

Sri Balarama Rasayatra

Sri Krsna Vasanta Rasa

 

*** NOTE: All times are for Washington D.C, USA, EST ***

For festival information for your city please go to http://www.iskcondc.org and

click on 'Calendar'

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