Disappearance of Pisima—Eulogies by Jayapataka Maharaja and Bhavanand

[Guest guest]

I had the following text transcribed from a taped talk that took place in

March-April 1980 shortly after the passing of Srila Prabhupada's sister

Bhavatarini Dasi aka Pisima. I thought you might find it interesting.

 

yhs

 

Shyamasundara Dasa

 

www.ShyamasundaraDasa.com

 

___________________

 

 

 

Disappearance of Pisima—Eulogies by Jayapataka Maharaja and Bhavananda

Maharaja

 

Jayapataka Maharaja:

 

"...Victorious moment, yet at the same time it is a matter of separation of

a Vaisnava. So, for example, I just have a few things to say...you will find

more details on how attached Pisima was, always assisting Srila Prabhupada

in her childhood from Satsvarupa dasa Goswami's biography. I just remember

that Srila Prabhupada said that she always used to follow him around when

they were children. Of course when Srila Prabhupada sent me to India in 1970

from Toronto, Canada after brief stops in Chicago with Srila Bhagavan

Goswami and in Los Angeles and in London on the way, when I arrived to

Calcutta I only had Acyutananda Swami as association, although there were

many other people, but there was no real association. So I remember the

first time he took me, he said that, 'You should meet Srila Prabhupada's

sister. She has invited us for prasada.' And we went to her house and there

she showed us the little Deities of Srila Prabhupada which she was

worshiping. Srila Prabhupada had given his childhood Deities to his younger

sister to worship. Now, we don't worship, I mean to say, we're not speaking

mainly because Srila Prabhupada's material sister is Pisima. Actually, she

is a Godsister. She accepted initiation from Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati

Thakur. For the hari-nama. I'll speak about that later. So actually in the

real sense, she's Godsister. We went to her house and seeing the Deity, she

was performing the worship very nicely, decorating with flowers. She offered

up the prasad to the Deity and she sat us down to take prasada. And she

proceeded to do her best to bust us over our capacity with so many

preparations of sukta and sak, vegetable, she knew how to make special

mashed potato with mustard oil and fried cakes in pure ghee. And just like

one hardly ever even finds in one's own mother, she served us very nicely

with Radha-Govinda's prasada. So later we found out that she was famous in

the whole sampradaya of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur for feeding the

sannyasis. In fact, even Sridhara Swami and so many Godbrothers of Srila

Prabhupada, different occasions, they all admit that they have taken the

prasada prepared by Pisima.

 

She's known as Madanera Ma because her younger son Madan was dying, and she

continuously chanted and simply depended on the Lord, and in this way he was

saved. And so she became famous as Madanera Ma. I don't know the full

details of that story, but she's well-known within the Gaudiya Sampradaya at

Mayapura.

 

Although her one sadness in life was that after becoming married she could

not make any other children to be full devotees. Fully dedicated devotees.

Although several of her sons have become life patron members, that none of

them would fully accept all the Vaisnava principles, this was a source of

anxiety to her. And therefore she always wanted to live at the holy dhama.

Of course, Srila Prabhupada did not want initially her to, because she was

so imposing on wanting to serve him that it became almost an imposition that

she would always say that, "No, you can just stay with your son." And

finally he agreed on her insistence and she was allowed to stay at Mayapura

where she continuously chanted. She would always like to sit on the veranda

and hear the kirtan in the temple.

 

I remember from before she had taken second initiation from Bhakti Saranga

Goswami and always when she was living in Calcutta she used to come out to

observe the ceremonies of Bhakti Saranga Goswami, one of Srila Prabhupada's

Godbrothers. She had only taken the first initiation from Bhaktisiddhanta.

This gave me a good insight in how she simultaneously had her great faith

for Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur as well as her mantra guru, seeing him

as the representative of Bhaktisiddhanta and she would always attend these

functions with great faith and devotion. It's a very good sign, although

someone who is able to fully engage in the sankirtana movement is no doubt

the most glorious. Although her style was very simple, simply serving the

Vaisnavas and associating with the Vaisnavas, we can see that by her special

faith in Vaisnavas and her association with Srila Prabhupada, being born in

a Vaisnava family, that how she was always attached to this association. And

this has given her this greatest opportunity of spending her last years and

her last moments in the holy dhama and the association of devotees chanting

Hare Krsna. What more can anyone desire in leaving this body?

 

Actually, the last two years, of course Srila Visnupada, he has been taking

care of her as, in a very affectionate way--I've noticed that every time we

would go in the room though, Pisima would always be requesting, "You please

bless me that I can have pure devotional service." She was always eager to

get Srila Bhavananda Goswami's mercy so that she could get more taste for

chanting Hare Krsna. She, being very simple, she accepted those who were the

receptacles of Srila Prabhupada's mercy with great faith and she wanted

always to get Srila Visnupada's mercy. Very moving. Especially she liked to

see all the devotees coming for the yearly festival and that seemed to be

her one high point. However, since Srila Prabhupada's association has been

taken from her, we saw a steady decline in her desire to remain in this

world. It seemed that her life had become simply empty. And in so many ways

she expressed that. She was feeling very lonely without that spiritual

association. Of course, her association was mainly from hearing, and even

when she heard the tapes, in the end she became very enlivened.

 

So we can see that actually this Vaisnava philosophy is so sublime, culture

is so deep that everyone, does not matter whether one is a great scholar or

whether one is not a great scholar or whether one is a man or whether one is

a woman (having a woman‘s body) whether one is of any particular background,

then somehow or another if one gets attached to the lotus feet of Krsna then

by serving the Vaisnavas, by that association, reach the highest perfection.

So what to speak of someone born in a great family with the great

association. We see that although living a very simple life, simply by this

constant association of Vaisnavas, one is completely protected. One is

completely protected. Somehow or another we have to remain very attached to

the association of Vaisnavas. We have to remain very much fixed up in

serving Vaisnavas. We have to remain very eager to get a taste for chanting

the holy name. (Indistinct) and actually at every moment we are protected

and ultimately fixing our mind on Krsna becomes very easy.

 

So, that we see, that Srila Prabhupada's Godsister, our aunt, (Pisima means

"aunt"—"maternal aunt") that she has given us an insight into this kind of

spiritual desire and therefore we're very glorified to speak for a few

minutes on her transcendental qualities, and on this glorious moment feeling

the separation from her spiritual association, but knowing that she's now

gone back to Goloka Vrndavana from the holy dhama of Sri Caitanya

Mahaprabhu.

 

Bhavananda Maharaja (now Prabhu):

 

Gaura-bhakta-vrnda ki jai! There's not very much I can say after the very

sensitive and sweet words of Srila Acaryapada. But I was recollecting some

stories about Pisima...actually she was a very great Vaisnava. Prabhupada

said, "She's not only my sister, she's also my Godsister. She's a Vaisnava.

No ordinary personality." It is no ordinary personality who can be beaten by

Srila Prabhupada. When Prabhupada was a little boy, then he would make her

run with his kite. She always would run with his kite to get it up in the

air. He would make her run with it. And if it didn't go up in the air, he

would beat her. And he told me once that, "Actually, she was always

following me everywhere and if she didn't do what I said, I would beat her."

He was the master of his brothers and sisters even then. And, uh,

Pisima...it's very sad—of course, it's joyful, that we read the other day,

it's joyful and at the same time, it's very sad—because she was part of a

generation... Now that I'm getting older I can see that there are

generations, and she was part of a culture... Srila Prabhupada of course was

the propounder of this culture all over the world and Pisima, in her little

part that she could play, she was also part of this culture, the culture of

Bengal, the culture, the highest culture of Caitanya Mahaprabhu. And when

these members of this generation have departed, we will never see like them

again.

 

To think of Pisima, I'm reminded of Mother Saci—Sacimata—because we all

understand what a great part prasadam plays in Caitanya-lila. Unfortunately,

I think so many of us don't understand the importance of prasadam. For

whatever reasons, we're not understanding the importance of prasadam and the

importance of feeding the Vaisnavas, giving them prasada. Just like Mother

Saci, her desire was, "All right, You've taken sannyasa, You go to Puri and

let me cook for You." When she was brought to the house of Advaita Prabhu

after her Son, beloved Son had taken sannyasa, "Yes, please, You just let me

cook for You the whole time that You're here!" That's no ordinary thing, to

be able to cook and offer that to the Supreme Personality of Godhead or His

representatives. So Pisima she was always cooking as Srila Jayapataka

Acaryapada said, she was famous for feeding the sannyasis. And to sum up her

character, she told us one story.

 

There was one sannyasi Godbrother of hers, came to see her in Mayapura last

year. They were talking, talking, talking and she was in ecstasy. They were

talking about all the different kinds of prasadam that she had served and

all the different sannyasis that she had given, offered prasadam to. And she

looked at me with tears in her eyes and she said, "Ahhh, sannyasis (Bengali)

sannyasis are my life and soul. What will you eat? What will you eat? What

will you eat (Bengali), what do you want, (Bengali) what will you eat?”

That's her whole, that was her whole lila—that, "Sannyasis, the Vaisnavas,

the sannyasis, they are my life and soul! What will you eat? What will you

eat? What will you eat?" This is the whole essence of Pisima. Therefore we

call her, she's the guru's sister, Pisima, she's our mother. This is the

standard of Vaisnavi etiquette. This is our... women in our movement... they

can take a lesson from this. This is the standard of etiquette. Always the

greatest respect for the sannyasis and always, "What can I serve? How can I

serve you? What will you eat?" This cooking is a very great art. Srimati

Radharani also, She captured Krsna by Her cooking.

 

And in the last days when we were serving Srila Prabhupada here in

Vrndavana, she would come in every day, though it was very difficult for her

to walk because she had arthritis and was... she would come in every day to

see Srila Prabhupada and of course their relationship was very special. When

he spoke to her it was a different mood altogether. And she would come in

every day and say, "(Bengali) You won't eat anything today?" And, uh, he

(apparently makes some gesture imitating Srila Prabhupada and the audience

laughs) (indistinct) ...no appetite. And she, "Ohhhh." Then she had a

special Nrsimha mantra that Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur had given her

and she would chant that mantra and rub Prabhupada's chest (demonstrates how

she rubbed Prabhupada's chest, making a stroking sound) and she'd chant this

mantra very softly for Nrsimhadeva to protect Srila Prabhupada. Every day

she would come in and rub his chest and chant this mantra, then just before

she left, "You won't eat anything today?" And she would be broken-hearted

that, "He won't eat." She'd look at me and she'd look at Tamal Krsna , "What

to do? He won't eat." And then she'd be gone. Very sublime pastimes. These

are very sublime (indistinct) were all filled with love (indistinct) these

are serious things. Because it was very serious. It cut her right to her

heart. "He won't eat."

 

Then, I remember another time when Srila Prabhupada had blood dysentery in

Calcutta—nineteen-seventy... he went to the... it was Ratha-yatra time, he

went to the London Ratha-yatra. When was that? 1975. Anyway, he came in from

Mayapura and he was in Calcutta. He got blood dysentery. Very bad blood

dysentery. And they brought doctors, we brought doctors and, uh, medicines

and nothing worked. Then Prabhupada said to me one day, he said, "My mother,

when I was a boy, the cure for blood dysentery was, you take hot puri with

salt and eggplant, fried eggplant." I said, "Oh, Srila Prabhupada!" He said

that. He said, "Make that for me." I said, "Srila Prabhupada," I was,

(chuckles) I was a little presumptuous actually, I was very, I said, "You

can't take that." I said, "You have dysentery." I said, "You take that ghee

and puri, you'll get even worse." He said, "Anyway," he said, "you make that

for me. And where is..." he said, "where is my sister?" And she was sitting

right outside, just waiting. And he called her in because I wouldn't make

it. I wouldn't make it for him. So he called her in and he said, "Make me

some hot puri and fried eggplant. Immediately she poom! she turned around

and she left and I was in such anxiety thinking, "Oh, this is just so

terrible that Prabhupada's going to eat this fried puri in ghee. It's going

to make him even more sick." And in five minutes, it was only five minutes,

there, Pisima came through the curtain into Prabhupada's room with a plate

filled with hot puris and fried eggplant! And how she cooked it so fast! In

five minutes! I just sat there and Prabhupada ate those hot puris and that

fried eggplant with salt, and immediately, he was cured. Immediately, he was

cured.

 

So this, being able to cook prasadam, it is a very important lesson to be

learned here. That Pisima, she never cooked for herself. She never thought,

I'm cooking this for me. She always thought, I'm cooking this for the

Vaisnavas. This is what made her cooking prasadam. That's also in the

Upadesamrta. That when you're cooking just for yourself, even thinking, I'll

make a very nice offering to the Deity, and then eat, that's not prasadam.

This is a very subtle science. That's not prasadam because you've lusted

over the food. You're cooking for yourself and just utilizing the Deity in

between as an agent. It doesn't work that way. Pisima, she never cooked for

herself. She only cooked for "What would taste so good to the Vaisnavas that

they'll take more and more?" That's why her prasadam, her hot puri and salt

and fried eggplant cured Prabhupada's disease. Because her prasadam was

filled with love. And after all, the whole purpose of Krsna consciousness is

to develop this love. That's what she had. That is why she was a venerable

Vaisnavi and we mourn this passing, but actually I'm very happy. I have to

admit I'm very joyful. When I received the telegram I was very happy.

Because this is what she wanted. She had told me that, "Now Prabhupada has

left, I have no taste, no desire to remain here anymore." I can understand

she is one of his eternal associates. She had no desire to remain here

anymore.

 

I'll tell you another story. It's a very intimate story. Don't think badly

of me, but Pisima was staying in Mayapura and so she got very sick and her

children, she has eight sons, they were concerned with her, or six sons. Six

sons. They were concerned with her. And she was getting sicker and sicker

and it was more and more difficult to care for her at Mayapura so they took

her back to Calcutta and she was there for, oh, many months. Seven, eight

months. Then, last...when did I?...last November, I came downstairs and I

went around in the back of the first floor veranda and there was Pisima

sitting there. She was just sitting there taking prasadam. And she was very

thin. Usually Pisima was very full. But she was become very thin and she was

just taking prasada, taking prasada. And Satadhanya Maharaja told me that

her son was in the reception room and he had just brought Pisima and five

minutes later her son left. He just left. I didn't even see him. And he left

Pisima there. She was so thin and frail and I was thinking, as I say, don't

think badly of me, I was thinking, from a managerial standpoint, What is

this? The sons have come and they've left a sick woman here and now we have

to care for her and they're just running off! I was very angry, you know?

She's their responsibility, after all, she's their mother. And they've come

and left her here and now I have to take the responsibility. I have to admit

I was thinking it was a botheration. It was a botheration. So anyway, we set

her up in her room and the women, the women who were staying there in

Mayapura, the Bengali women, they were taking turns caring for her, but it

was very difficult because she was very sick. And they'd have to be up all

night with her, she wouldn't sleep and they'd have to take her, she could

hardly walk, so they'd have to, you know, take her to the bathroom. It was,

it was a burden. So I was thinking like that, I kept thinking it was a

burden, it was a burden, it was a burden. Then finally, she was asking, I

was sitting one day in the reception room. She came by the window. She asked

me, "Is anyone going to Calcutta?" Because she was thinking of her family,

and she, "Is anyone going to Calcutta?" Nitai Chand was going to Calcutta

the next morning.

 

I said, "Nitai Chand's going in the car. I'll send you in that car. You can

go in the car." I thought, This way, she'll go back, I'll get her, there's a

car going to Calcutta. She'll go back to Calcutta and her family will care

for her, which I thought was proper. I thought that was proper. And it is

proper, that her sons should care for her.

 

So, the next morning she was all ready to go to Calcutta and she was

walking. I had been avoiding her, you know, because a woman's tears,

Prabhupada says, they melt your heart. When a woman cries, that's her

ultimate weapon. Pisima was walking towards the stairs to go out of the

building; she was very frail. She could hardly walk. She could hardly walk.

And then she looked at me—she finally got me, you know—and she looked at me

and of course every time I saw Pisima, she looked so much like Srila

Prabhupada, you know, it was a remarkable resemblance. Generally the

brothers and sisters don't resemble each other, but their resemblance was

remarkable. The whole set of her face, the set of her jaw, the way she

would...everything was so much like Prabhupada.

 

So she was looking at me with...and she said, uh..."When will I come back?"

And I thought, Oh God (laughter) I said, This is...now I'm caught. You know?

Now I'm caught. "When will I come back?"

 

"I don't know. We'll bring you back in a few...When the next car comes back,

we'll bring you back." Then she looked at me and she made this face, there's

no way to describe this face, her...she was crying but there were no tears.

It was a totally spiritual, transcendental emotion. Her jaw opened up wide

like (pause) and she was sobbing. But it was like a totally spiritual

experience. And then she was going, she stopped and she turned around and

she looked at me again and she made that face again. I thought, Oh, boy. So,

then, she could hardly walk, so I said to Nitai, Nitai is like the, Nitai

Chand, you all know, our president in Mayapura, in our Bengali family, he's

like the... Prabhupada, when he saw him in Vrndavana he called him "choto

chele"—"oh, my little boy. My little boy, you were suffering so much from

that attack and I was nowhere around to help you." Oh, and they were crying.

It was a whole family thing, you know, with Nitai Chand and Pisima and

Prabhupada.

 

So I said to Nitai, he was very surprised, I said, "Pick her up and carry

her down the stairs and put her in the car." So he picked her right up,

carried her down the stairs, put her in the car. Then she turned, she

whispered in Nitai's ear, she was saying, I was leaning over the balcony.

She looked up at me and she whispered something in Nitai's ear, and I said,

"Well, what," I said, finally I said to Nitai, "What is the use of her going

all the way in there and then we have to bring her all the way back. Pick

her up and bring her back upstairs."

 

So he picked her up and carried her back upstairs and she was sitting on her

bed and she said to him, she said, "You tell Maharaja I know it's a burden."

She said like that. "I know it's a burden." She said, "But I'm old woman

now. And I'm going to die." She said, "Now I just want to prepare myself to

die. That's all. I know it's some difficulty, but I want to die. And I want

to die in Mayapura." She said, "If I leave Mayapura, then how will I see

Prabhupada's samadhi come? If I go back to Calcutta, I'll never be able to

see Prabhupada's samadhi. I want to die." Then I realized, don't think badly

of me, I realized that this is my responsibility as Prabhupada's servant,

and she as Prabhupada's sister and Godsister, it's my responsibility to make

arrangements for her so she can die in Mayapura peacefully and happily and

go back to Godhead. There is no doubt in my mind that she's gotten her wish.

That's why I have no remorse at all. I knew that she didn't want to live

after Prabhupada's departure and she's gotten her heart's desire—she's

returned back to Prabhupada. And that was her desire. Such purity.

 

There's another story about her purity. When she was—Prabhupada told me the

story—when she was married, her husband turned out to be a rogue. A

debauchee. Of sorts. Woman-hunter, and so many things. And the whole time,

she would keep coming to Srila Prabhupada, and... “What to do, how we can

stop him from his sinful life?”

 

So Prabhupada said, “Remember those deities that we worshiped when we were

children?” He said, “I have them here, I'll give them to... You worship

Them, Radha-Govinda, and you keep praying to Them, and They’ll help you.” So

Prabhupada said that she took those Deities, and she worshiped Them very

nicely, and she never... even though her husband was a rogue of sorts, she

never deviated from the principles of Krsna consciousness. Nor did she ever

leave her husband. Even though he was a rogue... especially... uh, though

maybe his habits were not—don’t appear so terrible by today’s standards—but

from their standard he was a rogue. She never deviated from the principles

of Krsna consciousness, Prabhupada said, and she never left her husband. She

kept serving him and praying to Radha-Govinda, “Please, You save him.” And

Prabhupada said the result was that her husband, after so many years, he

changed all his ways, he became a devotee and he ended up worshiping her.

(Audience: “Jaya!”)

 

He told me that. He ended up worshiping her. That, “This woman is serving me

so faithfully, and serving the Deities so faithfully, and she wants nothing

but the best for me, and she’s praying to Krsna for me”—he acknowledged

that, and changed all his ways.

 

So she’s no ordinary personality, Pisima, and she was all of our mother.

That we all felt, any of us who knew her. So we of course are very sorry,

but we’re also very joyful that she got her heart’s desire, that she left

her body in Mayapura and has returned back with Srila Prabhupada and back

with Caitanya Mahaprabhu and back with Radha and Krsna.