please help

[Guest guest]

>If a mataji with child who is merried to a husbant who don't want to

>practise KC life and wants to have sex with her and she want initiation and

>spiritual life should she humbly serve him and stay with him or not.

>What to do?

 

Two real stories. I could give you a few more from Heidelberg area...Think

about it.

 

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An American Dharma-patni

"There is a woman here in America who has experienced some success in

encouraging her non-devotee husband in Krsna consciousness. They live in North

Carolina and had been married for years already when she found Krsna

consciousness-and he didn't. He was always agreeable about her participation in

it, but it was "her thing" and he didn't want to be involved. She understood

his need to be independent and not pressed into anything, so she just kept

serving him nicely, with the new understanding of how important it is to be a

dharma-patni in order to bring out the best in her husband. At first she

couldn't bring herself to cook meat for him, but then at one point, inspired by

Pisima's example, the teachings of Srila Prabhupada, and Helen Andelin (author

of Fascinating Womanhood, Bantam, 1965), she apologized to him sincerely for

the way she had all of a sudden refused to touch meat and without much warning

left him stranded in that regard, having to either get it for himself or forgo

it. She expressed repentance and promised to serve and please him more

selflessly and unconditionally from that day forward. She even promised to cook

meat for him. He was amazed. This softened his heart, and out of compassion he

told her (to her relief) that she did not have to cook meat for him. But that

conversation did not end without further effect. Impressed and delighted by

this reaffirmation of her love and consideration for him, he reciprocated by

showing more open-mindedness to her interests, specifically Krsna

consciousness.

 

"Some of the remarkable things he did as he became more favorable included

building a small altar for her (though he wouldn't worship at it) and setting

aside one room of the house in which he wouldn't smoke or behave

disrespectfully. He also visited the temple with her (though he was more

inclined to go when it was his own idea than when she had asked him to) and

would actually do service there. Finally, the crowning miracle thus far,

without getting any hints from her he suggested that they should move nearer to

the temple, which was hours away-'nearer,' as in moving into the actual

community of devotees!"

 

A Modern Indian Dharma-patni

"One particular lady in Bombay had recently become a devotee. This lady used to

go often to the ISKCON temple in Bombay, but her husband soon objected to that.

New devotees commonly exhibit fanaticism in their practice of Krsna

consciousness and this lady was no exception. Soon after becoming a devotee she

started criticizing her husband for eating meat and drinking alcohol. Before

long the husband and wife started having nasty fights, and the husband

eventually spent all his spare time, and money, at bars and nightclubs instead

of going home after work.

 

"One day this woman asked some of the lady preachers in the temple what she

should do about her husband. The lady preachers recommended that she cook meat

for her husband, serve him alcohol, and be very kind to him yet continue to

actively cultivate Krsna consciousness. The principle they advocated and

explained was that although cooking meat and serving alcohol were sinful

activities, if she could supply these things to her husband instead of him

seeking them elsewhere, she would gain control of her husband's senses, which

would mean being in control of him. And being in control of him would mean that

she would be able to influence and reform his mentality. So the woman accepted

their advice.

 

"Within one year, not only did this woman's husband stop eating meat and

drinking alcohol, he even started regularly coming to the temple with her! By

the power of chastity, in every sense this woman delivered her husband from

maya, what to speak of saving her marriage and creating a Krsna conscious home

life."