Varna: bit by bit

[Guest guest]

> I might be quite sure about my kids varna/qualities but how and why should

> I force them to accept my judgement?

 

No force. Definitely not. Voluntary acceptance through thorough aural

reception of something they find tasteful and practical and interesting. It

takes loving parents and/or gurus to do this. You sound like a fitting

example of this for your children. Sharing the idea of engaging a skill or

prescribed duty in the service of the Lord is all you can do.

 

 

> I am speaking real life here now, it

> is a practical example, I am not a guru but I have a some responsibility

> and a desire to see my children rightly placed in life. They might accept

> my proposals, they might not, should I force them then, how would that

> work out?

 

Never force. Show the as best you can by your own example. If they see that

you are really happy with your choices in life, and they are very very keen

on this I have found, then they will naturally be attracted to your ideas.

Everyone wants to be happy and what better source of ideas than from a

loving mother or father?

 

 

> Should I reject them if they dont follow my requests? Should I

> give them instructions I know they will not follow, would that benefit

> them?

 

 

No, of course not but this does kind of remind me of the way many of us were

treated by some of our godbrothers in "leadership" roles over the last many

years. Most who are treated that way will naturally go away from the

offender. We have seen thousands of Srila Prabhupada's dear disciples go

away for similar reasons. Let's not make the same mistakes with our

children. I agree.

 

 

> I personally chose to try to *guide* allowing mistakes, allowing

> others their own decisions and their own responsibility for the decisions

> they take.

 

 

Sounds like great advice for the GBC.

 

 

> What do you do with your kids?

 

I have four wonderful sons, ranging in age from 8 to 23, with whom I am very

close. We communicate regularly no matter how far the older boys travel

around the world. They are fully aware of my Krsna consciousness and all of

them have taken up different levels of practice of the philosophy and

varnasrama-dharma. I have explained that whatever job they are doing it is

an opportunity to remember God who has given them the ability to perform

work by His energy.

 

My older sons and I have had many philosophical discussions and they have

come to the understanding that I stress being a gentleman with manners

first. I am not a proponent of institutional religion and therefore I do not

stress the more ritualistic type practices for myself or them. However, they

know and respect very much my morning program of offering fruit and flower

and water to Krsna every morning and japa meditation and reading.

 

My oldest son was born while we were living in the LA temple on

Nrisinghadeva's appearance day. My youngest son knows nothing about ISKCON

but loves me to read the Children's Krsna books to him every night he spends

with me. He knows every story. All of my sons are ksatriya by nature except

my eldest son Adiraja Nrisingha, who has a highly developed intellect and

recently graduated from Cornell University. He has read the gita and other

books of Srila Prabhupada and he carries a mature attitude of his own about

God.

 

I love them all very much and they are my priority in life (even before

VAD!)

 

 

> I think that one of the main ways for us to really start that VADsociety

> is to take care of our young people. Not by forcing them into imature

> initiations/positions or a varna they will have to keep their whole life,

 

 

No immature initiations/positions for sure. No forcing a contrived varna

either. But I would consider it a great honor to assist my sons in finding a

varna (skill, trade) which they can develop into a love for a career for the

rest of their lives. I will push varna first then encourage them, after they

are perfectly happy in their varna, to add asrama (spiritual life) later.

We will stay friends and gentlemen forever, I hope.

 

 

> but by somehow providing them training and work into an area in which they

> themselves have an interest and will feel comfortable. I feel at present

> that we have very little to offer them in that connection. Practically

> nothing, at least around here.

 

 

No where in ISKCON that I know of either. That is the reason Srila

Prabhupada wanted varnasrama colleges 25 years ago. Srila Prabhupada was a

pretty smart guy!

 

 

> What we need for that is not perfected pure devotees, we simply need to

> make a system where all the qualified people with all of their nice skills

> and abilities can share it with others.

 

 

Yes.

 

 

> But in traditional templelife it

> seems like there will never be time for it.

 

Srila Prabhupada wanted that to change to varnasrama colleges in every

center.