compatibility, match, marriage...

[Guest guest]

On 7 Dec 1998, Krishna Kirti wrote:

> > > Most marriages in India are still arranged. Even my own marriage was

arranged within 24 hours. And my main criteria WAS that my wife be a

> > > devotee. Materially, we aren't compatible. But because we are both

devotees, our marriage works.

 

Arranging such a consequential thing as a marriage in the space of 24 hours

(what to speak of 60 mins) sounds like a pretty spur-of-the-moment, passionate

program to me, nothing short of Russian roulette. If such hastily arranged

marriages do happen to work out, at what personal and lifetime costs of the

family and society??

 

My point is that to rely wholly and solely on some esoteric sense of "DUTY" --

ignoring *compatability* and other important considerations -- is hardly

"goodness" but *foolishness* = ignorance, besides "provoking the devil."

Vedic culture offers such a rich and comprehensive program for arranging

marriages and to neglect ANY bonafide consideration that would help ensure the

integrity in a marriage is nothing less than *foolish." Whatever criteria can

better inform a judicious arrgangement should by all means be utilized.

 

What do you mean by "DUTY* anyway? Define your terms.

 

One last point: I might also add that your condescending attitude throughout

this discussion indicates something less than speaking from the platform of

wisdom; pride and arrogance denotes *passion*. One who boasts about his

discharge of "duty" is NOT in the mode of *goodness*.

 

Srila dasa

 

> > Arranged marriage *means* to consider the compatibility. That

> > is what "to arrange" is all about.

>

> Duty is the primary criteria.

 

> Since the compatibility you are speaking of is based on material qualities,

which are by nature flickering and

> temporary, such marriages are naturally flickering and temporary. You can

see today in India that so many marriages, most of them, in fact, are

> founded on duty. People get married because they know they have to take

care of their elder parents, etc. No kidding.

>

> It wasn't a bad arrangement, it was a good one. I know Indian couples,

> devotee and non-devotee who have made the arrangements in under 60 minutes,

flat. They work quite well, too. That's because the attitude they have is,

"Once you are married, you are married, that's it, no divorce."

>

> > To assume that everybody else in ISKCON is to succesfilly follow

> > your exemple is out of order.

>

> So, it comes down again to choice. Either you base your marriage on duty,

or you are in for even more suffering. That's the difference between the mode

of goodness and the mode of passion.