Just some misunderstandings...

[Guest guest]

This is long and maybe boring and is about me a lot, so might be worthwhile

to give it a miss.

 

> Yes, you are right. Sorry. I misunderstood that with "sankirtan"

> you had the memories of something that was not sankirtan. No

> honest person with some dignity (regardless of varna) would like

> to be exploited for somebody's sense gratification in the name

> of sankirtan. I understand now what you meant.

 

Now now, theres no need to get apologetic, because I am indeed a rascal.

 

Let me be completely honest here. I also hated book distribution (how low

can you get). But maybe hated is the wrong word, a word that I hastily

chose, instead of going deeper. I was scared of book distribution. My very

fist experience was on my very first visit to Bhaktivedanta Manor. In order

to get home I hitched a ride with the harinama party to Watford. So I did

the harinam, and someone handed me a pile of BTG's to hand out, I didnt even

have to ask for money. I felt a bit self conscious. I was 16, I had hair

halfway down my back, wore tattered jeans, I looked every bit a junior

hippy, not at all part of the group. Well I got into it, it was nice to

think that the devotees accepted me enough to do this but then suddenly, two

huge military type guys pushed me into a recessed shop front, and

intimidated me. It only took a few minutes, but it was scary.

 

Two weeks later I joined ISKCON, and was shaved up in about 4 days. After

maybe 3 or 4 months I was sent out on the street again. I was a very timid

boy, I was very self conscious, I had terrible acne, that made me want to

hide. I knew it was complete maya, I understood that I should be

transcendental to it. But I couldnt, I failed miserably. I knew that book

distribution was glorious, and I hated the fact that I couldnt do it.

 

I tried, the devotees tried their hardest to show me how easy it was. But I

was completely intimidated by the whole thing. Most people did not want to

be bothered by me. My nature is that I dont like to disturb anyone. I dont

like to force myself on people. I speak, and if they want to hear I am

enthusiastic to carry on, but if not I'll shut up. I understood the books

will be good for them, but I could not get over my reluctance, and instead I

closed myself. I sat in parks and spaced out. Eventualy after 3 or 4 week

stints sleeping in the back of an icy uninsulated van we would go to the

manor for two days, and then out again. For months I had to endure the (for

me) unendurable. Remember I was 16, 17. Well it took its toll being forced

to be transcendental when actualy I was completely weak and overcome. No one

was interested to hear the ordeal I was going through. They just all thought

I was in Maya. So I fell down, I blooped and ran off to a free festival to

meet my friends, who lived in tipis, cooked over open fires, and collected

herbs from the forest. They were all in maya, I knew it, but at least they

were friendly and lived a life I could relate to. But after two weeks of it,

I knew It was maya and I returned to the temple. This happened more than

once. I lived in constant fear at the temple of being sent out for

marathons, and feared being put on the spot, and being exposed as a weak

maya filled fool, to face my peers happy derision.

 

It was only after I went to India, and realised that the lifestyle I really

liked was the lifestyle of sadhus.

 

So my point is, that I was just not suited to that kind of austerity. I was

not ready for it.

 

So austerity as a programme for newcomers, yes. But surely the austerity of

the four regulative principles is already quite substantial for a newcomer.

This is the prescribed austerity for us that and chanting 16 rounds. The

tendency for a manager is to think that if a person does not like going to

the street, or any needed activity, then he is just in maya. But if someone

is in maya, simply yelling at them, YOU ARE IN MAYA, will not necesarily

help the matter. You have to go deeper, and that is where our society is

terribly lacking, we think we dont have the time for that. But that is what

KC is all about! Krsna Consciousness is about reviving a persons dormant

love for Krsna. You cant do it by yelling at people. Actualy the only person

who can do it is a pure devotee. But still our managers have to understand,

and enshrine in their hearts that devotional service is voluntary, and as

such they have to engage people with love as the first consideration.

 

Economicaly it makes sense to engage people according to their propensity.

If people are well situated and happy, they will excell far more than if you

try to force them. ISKCON needs to completely reevaluate the way we do

things. We need systems that put people first. If we try very hard to place

individuals in situations where they are best suited, we will get very

grateful people who will go out of their way to do the needful.

 

'Devotees are notoriously difficult to employ' Temple managers seem to

lament. When I ran our planning office, I found this also. Could it be

because we are focussed more on expanding, than on working on our

relationships with each other. Krsna Consciousness is a very very deep state

to be in. Not something superficial, although we may tend to treat the

philosophy, and each other very superficialy.

 

"....you have got the right idea when you say that your preaching work

shall be directed toward the children and the devotees and not so much to

the Dallas public. We may thin the milk till it becomes useless, or we may

boil it until it becomes thick and sweet, so now we have got enough

followers, let us train them up perfectly in the philosophy and activities

of Krsna Consciousness way of life. Unless all of my students become very

much fixed up in their spiritual progress, what is the use of so many

programs for expansion? So you are the leader at Dallas, now it is your task

to become very, very responsible for the spiritual well being of all of the

students there, so Krsna will give you all intelligence and facilities to

serve Him nicely if you are very much sincere to do so. This will please me

very much.

============

REF. Letter to: Stokakrsna -- Los Angeles 20 June, 1972

 

I take from this that prabhupada wanted us to become very fixed up, very

compassionate towards each other. I remember one devotee in the UK finaly

burst out at his authority, because that person kep on calling him (and

others) a 'turkey'. He pointed out to this authority, that Srila Prabhupada

would never employ such sarcasm on his disciple, except maybe in rare cases

where such action would be instructive.

 

If we cannot rise above the superficial platform in our dealings, we will

never be able to go deeper in our Krsna Consciousness.

 

I am still here, despite my fears and the lack of concern, I am lucky, but

such activity often drives people out completely.

 

> > > So what if you are in Maya. Big deal. You want VAD, there

> > > is no such excuse. There you do happily your sudra occupation. Or

> > > vaisya's. Whatever your varna is. But not the one of a brahmana, if

> > > you are not that by your nature nor you can qualify yourself for it.

 

> I am really sorry. The way it is written appears to be a personal

> judgment, thought it might not be intended so.

 

> Please just assume that instead "you" there's written "one" or "I". My

> mistake not to do it immediately.

 

So I would argue that even if you make your statement a generic one, that it

applies not to me personaly, still the attitude that springs from such a

statement does not have the necesary compassion that is required to touch a

persons heart, to inspire him in Krsna Consciousness. That is what we have

to try to acheive. We should never stop trying to acheive this, as this is

personalism.

 

 

YS