Interesting observations from a famous entertainer

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I edited this text for brevity.

 

Bob Geldof - from the angry young man to grumpy old moralist

(Filed: 03/10/2004)

 

As his 50th birthday approaches, the former rebel speaks up for domesticity.

Chris Hastings and Emma Levy report

 

Bob Geldof is nearing 50

The singer, renowned for making his former wife, the late Paula Yates, get

out of bed and get a job, is now convinced that a woman's place is in the

home.

 

The star's extraordinary metamorphosis from loud-mouth rocker to grumpy old

man is revealed in a new Channel 4 documentary to be screened later this

month.

 

During the course of the hour-long film, Geldof comes across as a latter-day

Victor Meldrew. The former punk star, who lives with girlfriend, Jeanne

Marine expounds the joys of domestic bliss and launches a tirade against the

evils of the 1960s and the country's spiralling divorce rates.

 

It was, however, his view of what makes a happy marriage that was last night

proving to be the most controversial.

 

 

The divorce rate in England and Wales rose for a third successive year in

2003. There were 153,490 divorces - the highest figure since 1996.

 

A tenth of divorces were between couples who had been married before. More

than two thirds were granted to the wife. The average length of a marriage

that ended in divorce was about 11 years.

 

Geldof seizes on the statistics that show that women initiate 70 per cent of

marriage break-ups. This, he suggests, means not that men are failing to

understand women, as most females would think, but the opposite.

 

Instead of seeking to persuade men to change, he continues, women should

simply accept them as they are. "If girls don't like masculine

characteristics, then it's pretty much too bad because 50 per cent of the

planet are men," he says.

 

"Men don't feel the need or the compulsion to talk in general; to articulate

what it is that they are. I feel no need to talk. Men and women are very

different and we always have been very different. That is precisely why we

find each other so attractive.

 

"Why is it suddenly that the very differences that once attracted us are now

driving us apart? Men have never felt the need to talk, so why is it now

that 'he doesn't talk to me anymore' is enough to end a relationship?

 

In the documentary, Geldof and Marriage, Geldof blames the inability of

couples to stay together on modern culture, which, he says, has given people

unrealistic expectations.

 

He added: "We have, I think, devalued the idea of marriage as a legal

contract. When we think of marriage now, perhaps we think too much of the

day, the dress and the drunk uncle."

 

Excessive selfishness was also to blame, he said.

 

"The soap-opera culture is so corrosive . . . If our expectation of married

life were more realistic, then the everyday reality would not be thought of

as difficult, limiting or mundane, but rather as comforting and supportive.

We seem to have lost the ability to compromise. We've bought into the myth

and we're sold a childlike and naive view of marriage. When it turns out

that it's not quite like the soap operas, we feel cheated."

 

He added: "Have we devalued domestic life and its culture of companionship,

warmth and nurture and safety and calm to the point of it almost being

irrelevant?

 

"Have we completely lost the idea of the home being important, almost an

emotional nerve centre? Home, after all, is where the head is."

 

Amanda Platell, the broadcaster and columnist, said that Geldof had turned

into the ultimate "grumpy old man" and was "living in a past era".

 

"I have the highest respect for what Bob has achieved with things like Live

Aid, but if he is such a devotee of marriage why hasn't he married his

totally devoted and gorgeous girlfriend," she said.

 

"The fact is, most women initiate divorces because their men are sleeping

around. What are they expected to do? Sit around and tolerate the situation

because cheating on your partner is supposedly what being masculine is all

about."

 

In her biography, published in 1986, Yates revealed that it was a young

Geldof who made her get out of the house and make a career for herself.

 

He told her: "I can't stand people who don't do something."

 

Geldof concludes by suggesting that the Government should make it harder for

couples to divorce, or at least make them pause for thought.

 

He said: "It is a profoundly upsetting statistic that 70 per cent of all

divorces are apparently initiated by women and that goes hand-in-hand with

the sad statistic that eight out of 10 women are unhappy with their lives.

 

"Breaking the marriage contract should not be consequence-free. There should

perhaps be free mandatory mediation before any couple can even enter the

divorce courts.

 

"Not only does the Government show no interest in strengthening one's own

chosen chains of marriage, it seems to be sending the opposite message."

 

Jennie Bond, the BBC's former royal correspondent, agreed with Geldof. "I do

think he is right. People do give up too easily on marriage these days," she

said.

 

"There are some fundamental differences between women and men. It is up to

older women and perhaps men to explain these differences to young women.

 

"The problem is men do tend to make a lot of noise when they are wooing you.

Once they have won you, they then proceed to shut up for the next 30 years.

 

"Young women need to be taught that its not their fault when that happens."