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Why men fear marriage?

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1. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Before we met.

 

2. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 

3. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the

carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."

 

4. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

 

5. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when

married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't

notice."

 

6. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him

keep her.

 

7. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

 

8. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two

girlfriends.

 

9. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it

since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

 

10. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, You

wish you had ordered that.

 

11. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

 

12. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get

married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

 

13. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't

know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

 

14. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was

until I got married; then it was too late.

 

15. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he

received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

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