Vaisnava brahmacarya and grhastha asramas

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Notes on a lecture on Vaisnava brahmacarya and grhastha asramas

 

by HH Bhaktividya Purna Swami Maharaja

Principal of Sri Rupanuga Paramarthika Vidyapitha, ISKCON Mayapur

 

 

We have to understand Brahmacarya and Grhastha asramas in the

context of the spiritual or Daiva Varnasrama as chalked out by the Vaisnava

spiritual masters. Opposed to daiva varnasrama is aasura varnasrama. This is

demoniac because it does not take us to Lord Krishna. Rather it takes us to

the path of sense enjoyment. It is called pravrtti-maarga or smaarta. Daiva

Varnasrama is nivrtti-maarga. In Daiva Varnasrama, all members have the

common goal of making spiritual advancement and detaching ourselves from the

illusory forms of maya and to attain spiritual realization. It is based on

attaching ourselves to Krsna and getting detachment from Maya.

 

It is very important for the Brahmacaris and Grhasthas to understand

the principles of each others asrama. Both have to develop proper respect

towards and harmony with each other's asramas.

 

The process of Vedic education has the following 4 steps of learning:

1. Hearing (or sravana)

2. Understanding (or manana or jnaana)

3. Realization (or upalabdhi or vijnaana)

4. Teaching based on realization or siksaa

 

The difference between understanding and realization is that in the

stage of realization ones activities have changed because they are based on

his realization and they are from one who simply has understood

theoretically the Vedic teachings and who hasn't changed his behavior

despite his theoretical understanding.

 

Now the Brahmacaris are trained to hear (sravana) and to understand

(jnaana). Since the goal of daiva varnasrama is to develop spiritual

realization, it is essential that one develops a taste for Krsna

consciousness and a distaste towards illusion. Thus the brahmacaris are

trained in this way.

 

There are two levels of brahmacarya and two kinds of brahmacarya.

 

The two kinds of brahmacaris are called the naisthika brahmacari and

the upakurvaana brahmacari. They are in the first level of brahmacarya.

 

The naisthika brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has

understood about Krsna and maya; and he has developed realization about

Krsna and maya. Therefore he has a taste for KC and distaste for maya.

 

The upakurvaana brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has

also understood about Krsna and maya from the hearing; but he hasn't

developed realization of Krsna and maya. Due to previous mental habits and

conditioning, he still thinks that there is some substantial pleasure in a

woman's association. Still, because he has understood the Veda, he practices

KC seriously and in an appropriate time and manner he will take up grhastha

asrama. Therefore he prepares to enter into KC household life.

 

Both the naisthika and upakurvaana are in the first level of

brahmacarya because both of them have understood that pure KC is worthwhile

and pursuit of pleasure in maya is not but the upakurvaana's mental

conditioning from the past doesn't fully convince him of that and prevents

him from developing realization. Still, because they have understood from

the Veda, they are considered first class.

 

The naisthika brahmacari hears that association with the opposite

sex is like a deep dark well. [At this point in class, Giri Govardhan das, a

Grhastha devotee, laughs loudly. Maharaja says, "See, this is called

realization. We are talking and the brahmacaris are listening. They are not

saying anything but he has the realization that the household asrama is a

blind well and is laughing. This is realization."]

 

Anyway, but because the naisthika brahmacari is so strong in KC and

is endowed with humility, immense service attitude and tolerance, he

realizes that association with the opposite gender is not really worthwhile

simply by hearing seriously. He is simple. During [Annual Gaura Purnima]

Festival time, when he is asked to leave the first floor of the brahmacari

asrama [for the visiting devotees], he does it without grudges. And when the

[Ganges] flood comes, he goes to the Chakra Building. No problem. He is not

extremely about the taste of the prasada. He is simple.

 

But an upakurvaana get married. Why? He does it so that he can

realize that maya is painful and that only pure KC is bliss. The goal of the

upakurvaana is thus the same as that of a naisthika: to realize Krsna and

develop detachment from maya. And for that he goes through the grhastha

asrama and then vanaprastha asrama and comes to this realization. Actually

this is the goal of the entire daiva varnasrama: to become detached from

maya and attached to Krsna.

 

Now I shall tell about the Second Level of Brahmacarya. This is the

Second Class brahmacari. He thinks that brahmacari means a piece of orange

cloth. Even though he is in the Orange Club, he still is after pleasures of

the material world. Either he stays in the brahmacari asrama and tries to

enjoy the facilities there (he is very choosy about the T-shirt that he

wears or the sun glasses or about the prasadam unnecessarily) or he gets

attracted to a girl and marries her seriously thinking that he will be fully

happy being in a lady's association. He is just bewildered due to maya. He

has heard the Veda (sravana) but he has not understood it (manana or

jnaana).

 

Now one thing we should understand is that the upakurvaana has

understood that maya is painful but not realized it whereas the Second Class

Orange Club Member has not understood it (what to speak of realizing it!).

 

Now let us see what happens when a Second Class brahmacari gets

married and compare it with what happens when a First Class Upakurvaana

brahmacari gets married.

 

Our Second Class brahmacari gets attracted to the girl and falls

into the deep dark well. But he imagines that there are nice fragrant lakes

with blue water lilies and parks and entertainment in the deep dark well.

When he hits the rockbed, thud! "What happened? I married a beautiful sweet

girl but who is this in front of me?" he questions after a few years. "Why

is there so much problem in life?" Then he may come to another great

conclusion. "Actually there is absolutely no problem in me. The problem is

in the girl whom I married. Better let me get another one. Then things will

be smoother." And so he gets another, and another. [Maharaja says: I have

seen this. I am not exaggerating.] And this Grhastha life is called Second

Class Grhastha life.

 

The upakurvaana, on the other hand, doesn't get up from bed one fine

morning, go to the bathroom and while brushing his teeth, tell his

reflection, "You have to get married, you know!" No. He knows that he is

going to enter a deep dark well. Therefore he also prepares for it

realistically in such a way that he can keep KC as his first essential

priority and maintenance of house, wife and children as his secondary but

very important priority. This is because he has already heard from the

teachings of the acaryas that these are called gauna-bhakti or secondary

supportive practices in devotional service, to take care of his Vaisnavi

wife, etc. But the primary practices take prominence. He knows that the

problem is his mind, his wife's mind and so on. He knows that pure

devotional service to Krsna is the only solution. He understand that there

is no real security in his household or, for that matter, anywhere in the

material existence. And both the husband and wife focus on service to Krsna,

devotee association, hearing the SB, etc., which are called mukhya-bhakti.

Thus they gradually develop realization that only pure KC is worthwhile and

that maya is painful. This is a First Class Grhastha.

 

Now the girls also can be categorized into First Class and Second

Class. A First Class girl likes to get married to someone who was a First

Class brahmacari (upakurvaana). She knows that he is trying to advance in

spiritual life. She assists him as a dharma-patni (religious wife) in both

his primary bhakti and secondary bhakti. And she hears (sravana), she

develops understanding (manana) and she also realizes (upalabdhi). [Here

Maharaja cites an experience he had in Eastern Europe, "Once I was talking

to a Brahmacari who was thinking of getting married. There was also a

grhastha couple sitting while this brahmacari was talking to me. After some

time, she said, "I shall talk to him about this." And she talked the

brahmacari out of marriage. This is because she has the realization."] So

women also develop realization if they follow the proper procedure.

 

The Second Class girl, on the other hand, is more interested in

saris and lip sticks [later, after the class, Maharaja added "She also melts

the brahmacaris with her attire while she walks by them"]. She is not really

into spiritual realization and developing material detachment. She has heard

(sravana) but no understanding (manana). Now something very interesting

happens when a Second Class girl and a Second Class brahmacari marry: she

mashes him up like a mashed potato sabji.

 

So the First Class Grhastha and his First Class wife, after 20 years

of living together come to the natural conclusion that the whole endeavor of

pursuing pleasure in the material realm is just worthless. They realize that

the only times when they were really happy was when they were relating on

the devotional platform. Therefore they realize that there is substantial

pleasure only in devotional service and not in the illusion of maya. They

then take up Vanaprastha and later on the man takes up sannyasa.

 

This brings us to the fourth stage of education which is to teach

others for their benefit based on realization and that is sannyasa. The

naisthika brahmacari naturally comes to this stage and the upakurvaana also

after passing through the Grhastha asrama.

 

In Vedic culture realization and not the asrama is considered

foremost. So compared to the millions of lifetimes of being in material

existence, 25 years of going through the grhastha asrama to understand the

nature of devotional service and maya side by side is worthwhile for the

upakurvaana.

 

The brahmacaris should not be attached simply to the orange cloth

and grit their teeth thinking "No marriage! No marriage!" and consider that

the goal of their brahmacarya is merely to avoid getting married. This is

not KC. This is thinking of what the other brahmacaris or grhasthas will

think about them when they get married. This is our Second Class Brahmacari

attitude. The issue for the brahmacaris is not just whether the brahmacari

is to marry or not; the issue is whether they can be come up to the stage of

realization (upalabdhi) via brahmacarya itself or through a responsible

Vaisnava grhastha life. That is what has to be considered. The First Class

Upakurvaana Brahmacari doesn't mind getting married to a First Class girl

who will help him understand that this dark well is totally useless and that

he should focus his mind on the Lord.

 

So everyone (the brahmacaris, the grhasthas, the women) has to come

to the First Class platform. They should not remain in the Second Class

platform. Then they will be able to make tangible advancement in spiritual

realization and become detached from maya. Otherwise the much talked about

"social development" in ISKCON is impossible if it is not conducted on the

platform of detachment and spiritual realization.

 

The Second Class Brahmacaris and Second Class Grhasthas fight with

each other. The former tell the latter, "You are all in maya". The latter

respond, "C'mon. We know. You are *also* in maya. Just be honest and get

married." ... and so on.

 

First Class Grhasthas have respect towards naisthika and upakurvaana

brahmacaris. Indeed, if that respect towards the renounced ashrams is not

there, then how is it possible for them to leave the grhastha asrama and

take up vanaprastha? How will they approach something they don't have

respect for?

 

No one should criticize another but everyone should be helped.

Everyone needs help. And help means to assist in upgrading from Second Class

to First Class. In that way, everyone can attain to the lotus feet of Krsna.