what about it?

[Guest guest]

Dear Vraja Kum€ra Prabhu,

please accept my respectful obeisances unto Your lotus feet!

All glories to Sr…la Prabhup€da and all other VaiŠavas!

All glories to Sr… Sr… Gaura-Nitai and Sr… Sr… R€dh€-Govinda!

 

> Avaduta Nityananda Mahajana

> Mahaprabhu

> Sivananda Sena

> Bhaktivinode Thakur

> Arjuna

> Krsna

> etc.

>

> Also Vedavyasa was the father of Pandu, Dhrtarastra and Vidura,

> inseminating the wives (Ambika & Ambalika) of his brother Vicitravirya and

> also the maid (Vidura was dasi-putra) due to incapacity of the latter.

>

> So taking for granted these personalities fully understood the conclusion

> of the Vedas, what arguments do we have for NOT following in their

> footsteps?

 

First, I should say that personalities like Lord Gaur€‰ga and Lord

KŠa are not j…va-tattva, so that we MUST NOT list their names along with

Arjuna, Bhaktivinoda Th€kura, etc., it is wrong to do that. And hence They

are out of question.

As far as the jiva-tattva concerned, we know that there are two

kinds of puruas (souls): fallible (kara) and infallible (akara) [from

Bhagavad-G…t€: dv€v imau puruau loke kara c€kara eva ca]. This is

important to mention, because they are not on the same level and should be

treated in a different way.

Let us start with akara-puruas. They are of three kinds:

s€dhana-siddha (attained perfection through constant practice of devotional

service), kp€-siddha (attained perfection by Lord's or Lord's pure

devotees' causeless mercy) and nitya-siddha (eternal servants of the Lord).

Since they are siddha (completely perfect) and akara (infallible) they MAY

marry or act in a very unusual way, but sometimes they CAN act against

marriage, in order to teach fallible souls by own example. Let us not

misunderstand their position and neither try to artificially put ourselves

in one row with them, nor start to critisize them.

Now, kara-puruas, who are a considerable majority of us. We,

kara-puruas, are touched by k€ma, the lust. Where does k€ma come from?

Yes, Bhagavad-G…t€ 2.62 gives the answer:

dhy€yato viay€n puˆsaƒ sa‰gas te™paj€yate /

sa‰g€t saˆj€yate k€maƒ ...

"While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment

for them, and from such attachment lust develops ..." That is how it works.

And to develop k€ma is dangerous, because it may become reason of krodha

(anger), then sammoha (delusion), then smti-bhraˆa (bewilderment of

memory), then buddhi-n€a (loss of inteligence), and ultimately praŠaana

(complete destruction of one's spiritual life) [bG 2.63].

Hence, we have to look at things as they are. We are advised to keep

aloof from marriage, because the danger is there. Moreover, the father has

to take responsibility for so many things: children, wife, education of

both, money, or saying in few words, he has to support them both materially

and spiritually. NEVER GET MARRIED IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO DO THAT!

Otherwise, it's just k€ma and giving troubles to the dependant relatives.

Thus, marriage is neither banned in Vedic literature, nor it is

proclaimed to be one's salvation from all problems. The system is very

simple, to my mind: if one is able to live his life in celibacy without

being always troubled by thoughts of the opposite sex, then go on; if not,

then better marry according to €stras and live regulated ghasth€rama.

After all, both brahmacarya and ghastha are €ramas - places for developing

one's spiritual life, that is important, the consciousness, not the external

covering. The external covering has its importance only because of our

fallible nature, and this is the only reason for why brahmacarya is given

more importance. CAUTION!

Let me give here my personal example, even if it may seem too

private and honest, but I am an honest person by nature and like others to

be honest as well. I am much busy with studying Sanskrt and €stras, and to

attain in that area some perfection, which later could be of some use for

ISKCON, means to work selflessly and for many years, without any care for

material pleasure. To get married in such circumstances is maybe possible,

of course, but such a union will be rather demoniac, because I'll be torn

between studies and family, being unable to give any of them proper care. We

have to take it very seriously. And on the other hand, I don't feel any real

attachment to the opposite sex, the only thing is that lusty desires, which

visit evey single kara-purua, come and go; one cannot do anything about

that, in Bhagavatam it is said that even a yati (sanny€s…) may get troubled

with lust. But that lust is not eternal, it comes and goes, we have to WIN,

it is a battle, none will get free from this material world, the abode of

lust, so easily; and our weapon is s€dhana-bhakti, which means many things

like chanting Hare KŠa, serving VaiŠavas, worshiping Deities, etc. Only

if one is too weak or unstable, then better undertake viv€ha-yajña. Thus, I

do not even think of marriage, nor plan something for future.

Just drive Your mind away from it, concentrate more on PRACTICAL

devotional service. I have written: PRACTICAL, let me explain. K€ma comes

originally from the contact of our senses (indriya) with sense-objects

(viaya). There are five viayas: touch, sound, form (with its colour),

smell and taste; and they are perceived by five jñ€nendriyas: skin, ears,

eyes, nose and tongue, accordingly; and the contact between them is reached

through 5 karmendriyas: organs of speech, hands (or arms), feet (or legs),

genital and anus. For example: You move forward [by feet] and something [a

form] comes into the spectrum of Your seeing sense [the eyes]; that is how

You can see something, similar for other sense-objects. And we always deal

with sense-objects here and there. But this leads to k€ma, as we have seen.

Now, how to get rid of that?! There are two ways: either You withdraw Your

senses and stop their activities (and this is a purely mechanical process),

or You make more and more of the sense-objects, which You are dealing with,

connected with Lord KŠa, Who is no more dead matter and is not impure.

Sr…la Prabhup€da used to comment on the songs Manasa Deha Geha and Bhajahu

Re Mana, saying that "but our VaiŠav system is to directly engage our

senses in devotional service of Lord KŠa, son of Nanda Mah€r€ja" [i qoute

this from my memory, I hope it was correct; there is a tape/CD with those

songs along with Sr…la Prabhup€da's purports]. So, to mechanically stop

sense-activities is VERY difficult, whereas to engage senses in the service

of Vraja-kum€ra is EASY and PLEASANT, isn't it! In this way, if one follows

none of this two ways, he'll rather fall a victim of lust. But marriage

should not be called 'a refuge for the crazy' or similar; one has simply to

correctly understand its purpose. You can use the following idea: a good

non-married one is better than a good married one, who is better than a bad

non-married one, who is no better than a bad married one.

 

It came out quite too long, sorry.

And I hope it was worthy writing.

 

Please, accept my respectful obeisances unto Your lotus feet.

Your insignificant servant, Sergei.

Hare KŠa.