Sai Brother Sinclair praises Swami

[Guest guest]

Sairam dear brothers and sisters,

 

I forward an article from Sai brother James Sinclair who has written

this article for Bhagawan's 80th birthday. I hope it brings you as

much joy as it brought me.

 

Sunil

 

 

-- Fwd message follows:

 

What I wish to share with the community of those who love Swami is a

miracle of Divine compassion, Divine love, Divine caring, and the fact

that the Divine does hear our prayers and know our conduct, both

internally as well as externally.

 

    The miracle of compassion, caring and love took its form in the

death of my beloved wife of forty years, Barbara Sinclair as she

entered Andhra Pradesh on her way to the Lotus Feet of the Divine Lord

Sai. I will not pretend for a moment that I reacted stoically nor can

I tell you that I have any memory whatsoever of the six weeks after

the event of her transition. When I was able to, I read the prayers

that Barbara had written-- the notes she had taken of Swami's

discourses and of the great privilege of her interviews with Him,

along with her own thoughts. It was then that I knew beyond any doubt,

that a miracle of love and compassion had occured.

 

    What no one knew other than Sai, was the depth of pain Barbara was

experiencing. She had no cartilage in her hip. It was bone to bone

contact that made every movement severely painful. She had the most

severe case of arthritis imaginable. Her blood pressure was off the

scale and her weight was below one hundred pounds, her body but not

her devotion was failing. I was preparing myself for what I thought

would be the privilege of serving her as her nurse. She endured her

excruciating pain in total silence. Even in this condition she

insisted on preparing wonderful meals for Dr. Harvey, my neighbor and

I. She made beautiful everything around her. She never failed to

fulfill what she saw as her duty to her family.

 

    Above all, her devotion to Swami was beyond anything I had ever

imagined. I lived with her, love her and am her friend, yet I never

knew the depth of her commitment and adoration to Swami. She prayed to

Swami to be cured not only of the pain of her body but of the

ignorance that we call our "little dream lives." Swami had promised

that He would cure her and that she would be with Him always. She

placed us all in His hands in her prayers. She gave her children their

inheritance while she could watch them, to be sure that they handled

that part of their life well. She made beautiful all things that she

touched. She saw her first grandchild. She, not I, was the

philanthropist in silence.

 

    When Barbara left for India for the last time, I did not want her

to leave me, as I needed to stay due to an unpredictable business

event. She knew she had to go and since my practice has always been

never to interfere in such matters, she took my leave for the last

time, with my love and blessings.

 

    As she entered the car in Bangalore. she was handed, and I'm told,

read a letter from me sent by email to her hotel. The letter spoke of

my love for her, of how I missed her and asked for her early return.

She did return, within the hour.

 

    Swami answered her prayers and released her from the mortal coil,

having allowed her to accomplish all those things she held as her

duty. Her horrible suffering has come to an end, her beauty in form

preserved from the rigors of the disease that was making every

movement a silent but unbearable pain. I know beyond any shadow of a

doubt that she smiles at all of us from within that Sacred Heart of

Lord Si, awaiting our reunion that will certainly occur, not as two

bodies, but as One with the silent non conceptual reality that He is. 

My Prayer to Dearest Swami

 

    Knowing this, I am determined to spend the rest of this living

dream aspiring to her standards, which are Your teachings. No one

escapes from tragedy in life in one form or another. However,

protection from real loss does exist, as You have taught--in constant

inquiry, constant prayer and constant devotion to the Absolute Divine

which I know wears the for known as Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Barbara had

those qualities of inquiry, prayer and devotion.

 

    How could I fail to recognize that the hand of God took this sweet

beautiful child into His arms as she completed the duty called "life"?

How could I wish her back with me, to please me as she always did, yet

to suffering so horrible? Thank you, Beloved Swami, for having such

compassion for your totally devoted child, Barbara, to have cured her

of the most insidious disease, "I am the body." Dearest Lord, please

ease the grief normal to humanity and allow her family to rise to her

standards, Your teachings so that we are always in accord with your

Divine Will.

 

    Your greatest miracles, Dear Lord, in my experience, are those of

Your all-knowing absolute love and compassion. All of Your other

miracles, as magnificent as they are, appear to me to be Your divine

greeting cards.

 

Your devoted son,     James Sinclair,    Sharon, Connecticut, USA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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