Hiyaaaaaaaaa!

[Guest guest]

[Text 274824 from CIS]

 

1. Two prisoners were making thir escape over the jailhouse roof when

one of them dislodged a tile."Who's there?" shouted a guard. The first

prisoner replied with a convincimg imitation of a cat's meow. Reassured, the

guard went back to his rounds. But then the second prisoner dislodged

another tile. The guard repeated,"Who's there?"

"The other cat," answered the prisoner.

 

2. What did the insurance agent tell Adam and Eve?

"I can see you're not covered!"

 

3. A boss was talking to his chief bill collector:"How did that idea of

taking a gorilla with you on your calls work out?"

"I'd say good and bad. I got more money today than I usually do in a

week."

"So what so bad about that?"

"I can't get the money away from gorilla!"

 

4. "I understand the bank is looking for cashier."

"I thought they hired one a month ago."

"He's the one they are looking for."

 

5. Two men were talking. Said the first, "I went to the theatre last

night, but had to leave after Act 1."

"Why was that?" asked the second.

"Well, the programme said ' Act 2 - one year later,' and I couldn't

wait."

 

6. Cyclist to two boys:"Can either of you ride a bike?"

"No, neither."

"Good, then, would you mind my bike while I go for a drink?"

 

7 Two friends are talking about their reading.

"I'm fascinated by medical publications. A friend of mine treated

herself, using articles she read in the journals."

"You're speaking of her in past tense. Did she die?"

"Unfortunately."

"Of what?"

"A typographical error."

 

8. Did you hear about the freighter bound for San-Francisco with a

cargo of yo-yos that got caught in a violent Pacific storm?

It sank 42 times.

 

9. The salesman mentioned that he'd got three orders so far that day:

"Get out. Stay out. And don't come back."

 

10. A service station attendant watching a Martian put petrol into its

spacecraft noticed that "UFO" was printed on the spaceship's side. "Does

that stand for " Unidentified Flying object?" he asked the Martian.

"No,"the creature replied."Unleaded Fuel Only"