From Crosswalk...

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna.

 

Friday, June 1, 2001

 

You Make Me Laugh -- Crosswalk.com

http://entertainment.crosswalk.com

<a href="http://entertainment.crosswalk.com">Click Here</a>

 

JOKE #1

QUOTABLE QUOTES

 

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me

to see him in a department store, and he asked for my

autograph. -- Shirley Temple

 

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to

end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. -- Doug Lars

 

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can

prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope

 

I know that there are people in this world who do not

love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

-- Tom Lehrer

 

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive

Thinking," and then I thought: What good would that

do? -- Ronnie Shakes

 

It is difficult to produce a television documentary

that is both incisive and probing when every 12 minutes

one is interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about

toilet paper. --Rod Serling

 

Somewhere on this globe, every 10 seconds, there is a

woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and

stopped. --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

 

Television - a medium. So called because it is

neither rare nor well-done. -- Ernie Kovacs

 

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals

of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

-- H.L. Mencken

 

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a

bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

 

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the

United States, unless you count the increasing popularity

of the 9 millimeter bullet. -- Dave Barry

 

This isn't right. It isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli,

on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague

 

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash

register open and the toilets locked. They must think

toilet paper is worth more than money. -- Joey Bishop

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's

there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones

 

When you go into court you are putting your fate into

the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get

out of jury duty. --Norm Crosby

 

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because

their friends thought I didn't exist. -- Aaron Machado

 

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told

me to quit going to those places. -- Henny Youngman

 

The reason there are two senators for each state is so

that one can be the designated driver. -- Jay Leno

 

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters

is whether I win or lose. -- Darrin Weinberg

 

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage

of your life in which you will be happy to hear that

the phone is for you. -- Fran Lebowitz

 

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks

around for a coffin. -- H.L. Mencken

 

It ain't so much the things you don't know that get you

in trouble. It's the things you know that just ain't so.

--Artimus Ward, 1834-1867

 

 

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

<a href="http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh">Click</a>*

 

JOKE #2

 

Friday's Book Pun

Title - Cloning .................Author - Ima Dubble

 

*Last Laugh*

Useless Inventions at:

http://www.cybersalt.org/cw/ui.htm

 

Hare Krishna --

 

ys, Balarama Dasa