Computer and Office

[Guest guest]

Daddy, what does

FORMATTING DRIVE C

mean?

 

This message transmitted on 100%

recyled electrons.

 

Error: Keyboard not attached.

press F1 to continue.

 

It says: 'The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close.'

It means: '...Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work

back.'

 

Who is General Failure

and why is he reading my disk??

 

Multitasking:

Screwing up several things at once.

 

Hit any user

to continue.

 

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer,

it's probably obsolete.

 

Portable Computer --

A device invented to force business people

to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.

 

It says: 'Not enough memory'

It means: 'I don't CARE if you've got 512MB of RAM. I want to use THAT

particular bit!'

 

Experience is directly proportional

to the amount of equipment ruined.

 

We do precision guesswork.

 

If at first you don't succeed,

call it version 1.0

 

Do files get embarrassed

when they get unzipped?

 

Employer to applicant:

'In this job we need someone who is responsible.'

Applicant: 'I'm the one you want. On my last job, everytime anything went

wrong, they said I was responsible.

 

Computers are like men...

In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.

They are supposed to help you solve problems,

but half the time they are the problem.

They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that,

if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

 

Computers are like women...

No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is

incomprehensible to everyone else.

Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later

retrieval.

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half

your paycheck on accessories for it.

You do the same thing for years and suddenly it's wrong.