CHURCH

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> 1. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were

> ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her

> what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall

> not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

>

> 2. I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's

> Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the

> lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with

> pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the

> prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some

> E-mail. Amen."

>

> 3. One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the

> morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense

> of order in the pew, but, were losing the battle. Finally, the father

> picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way

> out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called

> loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

>

> 4. And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our

> trashbaskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

>

> 5. A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a

> better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

>

> 6. A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the

> way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

> One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

>

> 7. The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he

> preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as

> he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and

> nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and

> jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and

> whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

>

>

> 8. Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting

> together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his

> big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in

> church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the

> back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

> They're hushers."

>

> 9. A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son

> ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a

> seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son

> asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a

> moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

>

> 10. After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow

> up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor

> replied, "but why?Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest

> preachers we've ever had."

>

> 11. A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to

> their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the

> blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say

> what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head

> and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner