For Evil Overlords

[Guest guest]

Ten Commandments for Evil Overlords

 

1. Make sure your ventilation ducts are too small to crawl

through.

 

2. Do not gloat over your enemy's predicament before killing

them.

 

3. Be secure in your superiority. You have no need to prove it by

leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving your weaker

enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

 

4. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, do not indulge in

maniacal laughter. It makes it too easy to miss unexpected

developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to

accordingly.

 

5. Maintain a realistic assessment of your strengths and

weaknesses. Even though this takes some fun out of the job, at

least you will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM

INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous).

 

6. Don't tun into a snake, it never helps.

 

7. Never be chivalrous. If you have an unstoppable super-weapon,

use it as early as possible, instead of keeping it in reserve.

 

8. Maintain a healthy amount of scepticism when you capture the

beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to your power and

good looks and will gladly betray her companions if you just let

her in on your plans.

 

9. Don't strike a bargain with a demonic being and then attempt

to double-cross it just because you feel like being cotrary.

 

10. Finally, if it becomes necessary to escape, never stop to

pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.