The gift that keeps on giving...

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna --

 

December 25, 2001

 

Taken from Crosswalk.Com

 

Roy Collette and his brother-in-law exchange the same pair of pants as a

Christmas present for 11 years, and each time the package gets harder to

open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot

cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now

Roy is plotting his revenge -- if he can get them out.

 

It all started when Roy received a pair of moleskin trousers from his

brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel, of Bensenville, Ill.

 

Larry's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college

student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather,

and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Roy .

 

Roy, who called the moleskins "miserable," wore them three times, then

wrapped them up and gave them back to Larry for Christmas the next year.

 

The friendly exchange continued routinely until Roy twisted the pants

tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch-wide tube and gave them

back to Larry. The next Christmas, Larry compressed the pants into a

7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to Roy.

 

Not to be outdone, the next year Roy put the pants into a 2-foot-square

crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave

the trusty trousers back to Kunkel.

 

The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But

they were as careful as they were clever.

 

Larry had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a

20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Roy, who broke the glass,

recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can and

soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with

concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Larry the following

Christmas. Two years ago, Larry installed the pants in a 225-pound

homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Roy's

name on the side. Roy had some trouble retrieving the treasured trousers

but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

 

Last Christmas, Roy found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc.

in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and

green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe

was then shipped to Larry, who is the plant manager for Viracon's outlet

in Bensenville.

 

Last week, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south of

Minneapolis, in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with

95,000 miles on it. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car

advised Roy that the pants were inside the glove compartment. "This will

take some planning," Roy said. "I will definitely get them out. I'm

confident." But he's waiting until January to think about how to recover

the bothersome britches.

 

"Wait until next year," he warned. "I'm on the offensive again."

 

Hare Krishna --

 

your servant, Balarama Dasa