College students

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Another collection same style:

 

 

* Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.

They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such

that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

 

* Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened

bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount

Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

 

* The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't

have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth .

 

* Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.

They killed him. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

 

* Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides

of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king.

Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

 

* Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

 

* Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.

When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted,"hurrah."

 

* It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented

removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the

circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he

invented cigarettes and started smoking.

 

* The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was

born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. Writing at the same time

as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great

author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and

he wrote Paradise Regained.

 

* Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.

Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the

Declaration of Independence. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

 

* Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died

in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own

hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation

Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater

and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They

believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor.

This ruined Booth's career.

 

* Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number

of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in

his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous

composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half

Italian, and half English. He was very large.

 

* Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote

loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling

for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.