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religious one-liners!

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I don't care WHO you are, quit walking on the water while I'm fishing!

 

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic...

 

A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.

 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

 

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.

 

I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things;

right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!

 

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

---Terry Pratchett, 'Small Gods'

 

Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys

them very much. -- G.K. Chesterton

 

I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.

 

Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?

 

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let's see the

evolutionists try and figure this one out.

 

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

 

Sorry I missed church, I've been busy practicing witchcraft

 

Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes

the date back a little, just to be funny.

 

"I don't question YOUR existence." ? God

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