What would happen if temples were Americanised?

[Guest guest]

> WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TEMPLES WERE AMERICANISED.............

>

> Before Pooja the priest will not ask for your name anymore. Your

> social security number will do.

>

> Two types of prasad will be available - Normal Prasad & Diet Prasad.

>

> Panchamrut will be of 4 types : Normal milk, 2% milk, Skimmed milk

> and fat-free milk (The same for yogurt).

>

> You don't tip the priest on the plate, when he gives the prasad. You

> should swipe your visa card on his scanner.

>

> You no more go around the temple from left to right. This is America

> and everything here is from right to left.

>

> Due to fire hazard, no more aarati, only flashlights will be used.

>

> To prevent noise pollution, all bhaktas need to use headphones to

> listen GONG of the bell during flashlight-tee (aar-tee). Softcopies

> of the Lord are on sale at $1 per image.

>

> The priest will no longer read the mantra from books, he will use his

> laptop instead.

>

> The temple would re-cycle the flowers used everyday to protect the

> environment.

>

> Sponsors of poojas will be allowed to display a 1.5"x5" banner on the

> website.

>

> The temple will sponsor this year's NBA matches to gain publicity.

>

> instead of manjiras,bhakts will have guitars

>

> * The priest would be wearing a red-and-blue dyed ponytail and Armani

> earrings.

>

> * It would be natural to wear sunglasses when doing pooja to save

> your eyes from the glare of the aarti.

>

> * Visa cards would be acceptable when making donations to the temple.

>

> * You could meet the priest over a cold beer after aarti.