And so Satan made junk food

[Guest guest]

And it came to pas that God populated the earth with broccoli and

cauliflower and spinach and every fruit bearing seed, so Man and Woman wou

live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's

brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You

want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained

pounds.

 

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that

man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt and added sugar, and he

brought forth chocolate. And women gained pounds.

 

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad, something vegetarian" And Satan

brought forth creamy dressings and bacon bits. And there was ice cream for

dessert. And woman gained pounds.

 

And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with

which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from

Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter And Man gained pounds, and

his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

 

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra

pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would

not have to toil to change channels. And Man gained pounds.

 

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth

the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into

chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man

clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in

cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac

arrest.

 

And God gave Man the mobile phone so that someone could call the ambulence.

But it was too late.

 

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