Have a laugh... and it'll be a good one! :-)

[Guest guest]

FW: The consultant

 

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a

brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a

young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL

tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you

exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

 

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his

peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"

 

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,

connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the

internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get

an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA

satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

 

Then the young man opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and

exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the

image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a

MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with

hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an

email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,

miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd

and says: "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

 

 

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the

shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks

on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then

the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell you exactly

what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

 

 

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why

not?"

 

 

"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.

That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?No

guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even

though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already

knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my

business... Now give me back my dog."