Guest guest Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 > > A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make > > me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good > > time like I am." > > ----------------------- > > > > A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. > > They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone > > could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, > > and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's > > wife." > > --------------------- > > > > After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason > > sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His > > father asked him three times what was wrong. > > Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us > > brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys." > > -------------------------------- > > > > I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the > > Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would > > repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided > > to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each > > word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into >temptation," > > she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen." > > ---------------------- > > > > And one particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our > > trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in > > our baskets." > > ----------------------- > > > > A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on > > the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in > > church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are > > sleeping." > > ---------------------- > > > > Six-year-old Angie and her four-year brother Joel were > > sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out > > loud.Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to > > talk out loud in church.Why? Who's going to stop me?" > > Joel asked. > > Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those > > two men standing by the door? They're hushers." > > ----------------------- > > > > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Michael 5, > > Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first >pancake. > > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus > > were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first > > pancake, I can wait.' > > " Michael turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you > > be Jesus!" > > ----------------------- > > A father was at the beach with his children when the > > four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to >the > > shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what > > happened to him?" the son asked. > > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad > > replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, > > "Did God throw him back down?" > > > > ----------------------- > > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned > > to their six-year-old daughter and said, > > "Would you like to say the blessing?" > > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say > > what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. > > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on > > earth did I invite all these people to dinner. > A metalworker receives an order from a chemical manufacturer for a number of very large cages. When the man delivers the cages to the factory, he is ordered to set them up in the laboratory. He asks the scientist in charge what he will be keeping in the cages. "Oh," says the scientist, "we are going to use some lawyers for some dangerous experiments." "But," asks the man, "don't you usually use rats for those experiments?" "Yes," says the scientist, "but you know, you get so attached to rats." > > A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make > > me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good > > time like I am." > > ----------------------- > > > > A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. > > They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone > > could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, > > and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's > > wife." > > --------------------- > > > > After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason > > sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His > > father asked him three times what was wrong. > > Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us > > brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys." > > -------------------------------- > > > > I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the > > Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would > > repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided > > to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each > > word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into >temptation," > > she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen." > > ---------------------- > > > > And one particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our > > trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in > > our baskets." > > ----------------------- > > > > A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on > > the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in > > church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are > > sleeping." > > ---------------------- > > > > Six-year-old Angie and her four-year brother Joel were > > sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out > > loud.Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to > > talk out loud in church.Why? Who's going to stop me?" > > Joel asked. > > Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those > > two men standing by the door? They're hushers." > > ----------------------- > > > > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Michael 5, > > Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first >pancake. > > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus > > were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first > > pancake, I can wait.' > > " Michael turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you > > be Jesus!" > > ----------------------- > > A father was at the beach with his children when the > > four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to >the > > shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what > > happened to him?" the son asked. > > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad > > replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, > > "Did God throw him back down?" > > > > ----------------------- > > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned > > to their six-year-old daughter and said, > > "Would you like to say the blessing?" > > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say > > what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. > > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on > > earth did I invite all these people to dinner. > A metalworker receives an order from a chemical manufacturer for a number of very large cages. When the man delivers the cages to the factory, he is ordered to set them up in the laboratory. He asks the scientist in charge what he will be keeping in the cages. "Oh," says the scientist, "we are going to use some lawyers for some dangerous experiments." "But," asks the man, "don't you usually use rats for those experiments?" "Yes," says the scientist, "but you know, you get so attached to rats." (Text PAMHO:7658249) ------ ------- End of Forwarded Message ------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.