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[Guest guest]

1.. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

 

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he

lacked

intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance

package.

 

 

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS

 

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to

subdue a gunman

who

had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

canisters,

officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the

police

line,

shouting, "Please come out and give

yourself up."

 

 

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

 

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist

and forced

him

to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the

kidnapper

proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank

accounts.

 

4. THE GETAWAY!

 

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all

the money

in

the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied

up the store

clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police

showed up

and

grabbed him.

 

 

5. DID I SAY THAT???

 

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who

just couldn't

control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man

in the

lineup

to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the

man

shouted,

"That's not what I said!"

 

 

 

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

 

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and

her

contractions are only two minutes apart!Is this her first

child?" the

doctor

asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

 

 

 

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

 

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for

trying to hold

up

a Bank of ! America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb

and a finger

to

simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in

his pocket

 

 

 

8. THE GRAND FINALE

 

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert,

an hour east

of

Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having

problem. No

matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22

ft. boat

going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter

how much

power

was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they

putted to a

nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was

wrong. A

thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working

condition. The

engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was

the

correct

size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water

to check

underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the

trailer.