7 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH A CHILD

[Guest guest]

---------- Forwarded Message ----------

 

Letter PAMHO:8862632 (90 lines)

Internet: "roger" <rkorny (AT) pipeline (DOT) com>

12-Oct-04 13:26 -0400

"elana mark" <elanamark (AT) hotmail (DOT) com>

"elana " <elana_jerusalem >

Bcc: Ekalavya (das) LOK (TP Solapur, Maharashtra - IN) [8440]

7 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH A CHILD

---------------------------

 

-----

 

7 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH A CHILD

 

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a

human

because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;

it

was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

 

 

* * *

A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what

the

drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

 

 

* * *

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and

six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she

asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and

sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,

"Thou shall not kill."

 

 

* * *

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at

the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands

of

white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your

hairs

white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make

me

cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,

"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

 

 

* * *

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up

and

say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer." or "There's Michael, he's a

doctor."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the

teacher...

She's dead. "

 

 

* * *

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

make

the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

blood,

as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes." the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright, in the ordinary

position,

the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

 

 

* * *

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school

for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun

wrote a

note and posted it on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the

apples."

 

 

* * *

It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it

made

you laugh, your friends will

laugh too.

 

 

---

Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

Version: 6.0.760 / Virus Database: 509 - Release 9/10/2004

(Text PAMHO:8862632) ------

 

------- End of Forwarded Message ------