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DEFINITIONS...!

 

 

Cigarette

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the

other.

 

Love affairs

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a

five day test.

 

Marriage

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains

her master.

 

Divorce

Future tense of marriage

 

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the

notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

 

Compromise

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the

biggest piece.

 

Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine

water-power.

 

Dictionary

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

 

Conference Room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later

on.

 

Ecstasy

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt

before, but never feel it.

 

Classic

A book which people praise, but do not read.

 

Smile

A curve that can set a lot of things straight

 

Yawn

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

 

Etc...

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

 

Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing

can be done together.

 

Experience

The name men give to their mistakes.

 

Atom Bomb

An invention to end all inventions.

 

Philosopher/ true artist

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

 

Diplomat

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look

forward to the trip.

 

Opportunist

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

 

Optimist

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not

injured yet."

 

Pessimist

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first

letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

 

Miser

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

 

Criminal

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

 

Boss

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

 

Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

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