Guest guest Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 In a message dated 1/31/05 9:03:42 PM US Mountain Standard Time, jbathurs (AT) shaw (DOT) ca writes: > > > You may have read some of this, but it is worth reading again... > > > > GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: > > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats > > 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. > > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch > the second person. > > 4) Never ask your three year old brother to hold a tomato. > > 5)You can't trust dogs to watch your food. > > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. > > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. > > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. > > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. > > 10) The best place to be when your sad is Grandpa's lap. > > > GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: > > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. > > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. > > 3) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts. > > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground. > > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. > > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber not the > toy. > > > GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD > > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. > > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. > > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your > down there. > > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking > chair that you once got from a roller coaster. > > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers > to ask you the questions. > > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. > > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. > > > THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE > > 1) You believe in Santa Claus. > > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. > > 3) You are Santa Claus. > > 4) You look like Santa Claus. > > > SUCCESS: > > At age 4 success is ... not peeing your pants. > > At age 12 success is ... having friends. > > At age 16 success is ... having a driver's license. > > At age 20 success is ... going all the way. > > At age 35 success is ... having money. > > At age 50 success is ... having money. > > At age 60 success is ... going all the way. > > At age 70 success is ... having a driver's license. > > At age 75 success is ... having friends. > > At age 80 success is ... not peeing your pants. > > Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh. > > Always, remember to forget the troubles that pass your way BUT never > forget to remember the blessings that come each day. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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