Wit

[Guest guest]

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take

any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing

one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

 

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you

realize it was your money to start with.

 

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright

ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign

of breaking down in the near future.

 

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting

laid.

 

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject

financially impotent for an indefinite period.

 

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who

doesn't get it.

 

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

 

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

 

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really

bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a

serious bummer.

 

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming

only things that are good for you.

 

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

 

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they

come at you rapidly.

 

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've

accidentally walked through a spider web.

 

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

 

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the

fruit you're eating.

 

And the pick of the literature:

 

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.