Punjab Airways

[Guest guest]

Punjaab Airways. ----

Walcum to P'njaab Airways!

P'njaab Airways : IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor

Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaab Airways flight no. 9211

(Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not

shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in

the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing

d'rectly in your v'llage

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety

standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are

afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our pssaingers

have reached to their dest'nation.

For the rest 10%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for

consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur (SIMRAN) will be haippy

to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for

comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to

contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books

will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not

record it from the tallyvision due to power cut. But we will be flying right

naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin

windows. These windows have been opened for your viewing convenience.

For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. If

AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight enttainment, our

hostesses Bubbly Kaur (SIMRAN)& Cuckoo Kaur (SIDDHI) will do the Bhangra

with flight

stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!!

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal

makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi.

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label

bottles.

Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights. As per safety rules,

smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights over P'njaab.

Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the

engines.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your

front side. It is not a hand fan.

The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any

of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off & landing. Also do

not use force.

Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during

take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for

steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight.

For air sikness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets -

Thank you once again for flying with

P'njaab Airways