Guest guest Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at > the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and > Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. > > St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have > heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place > is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination > for everyone. > > The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." > > > Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But > nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shore hope the test > ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." > > St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three > questions." > "First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? > > Second: How many seconds are there in a year? > > Third: What is God's first name?" > > Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and > sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to > think the questions over, tell me your answers." > > Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin > with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and > Tomorrow. > > The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I > was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll > give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" > asks St. Peter. > > "How many seconds in a year?Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but > I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve." > > Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name > could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" > > Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, > March 2nd.....Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where > you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite > what I had in mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. > > Let's go on with the third and final question. > Can you tell me God's first name"? > > "Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy." > > "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can > understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but > just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name > of God?" > > "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it > from the song. . . ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I > AM HIS OWN. . . " > > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run." > > ************** > > Give me a sense of humor, Lord, > Give me the grace to see a joke, > To get some humor out of life, > and pass it on to other folk. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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