Guest guest Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 > Children > > > > > THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) > > > > To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, > grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you > chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort > from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own > children. > > After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first > thing he said was "DON'T!" > > > > > Keep Scrolling > > > 'Don't what?" Adam replied. > > > > > > > > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. > > > > > > > Keep Scrolling > > > > > "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve... we have forbidden > fruit!!!!!" > > > > > > > > "No Way!" > > > > > > > Keep scrolling > > > > > "Yes way!" > > > > > > > > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. > > > > > > > > "Why" > > > > > > > > "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He > hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God > saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you > not to eat the fruit?" God asked. > > > > > > > > "Uh huh," Adam replied. > > > > > > > > "Then why did you?" said the Father. > > > > > > > > "I don't know," said Eve. > > > > > > > > "She started it!" Adam said > > > > > > > > "Did not!" > > > > > > > > "Did too!" > > > > > > > > "DID NOT!" > > > > > > > > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and > Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has > never changed. > > > > > > Richard Alexander Jr. > > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and > lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be > hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think > it would be a piece of cake for you? > > > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! > 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and > talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. > > > > > > > > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. > > > > > > > > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. > > > > > > > > 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for > word what you shouldn't have said. > > > > > > > > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself > that there are children more awful than your own. > > > > > > > > 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing > home one day. > > > > > > > > AND FINALLY: > > > > > IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON > THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: > > > > > "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!! > > > Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing > will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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