Have a laugh... American humor... from the internet...

[Guest guest]

I. Here are some of the world's thinnest books.

 

MY BEAUTY SECRETS - by Janet Reno

 

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE - by John Denver

 

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE - by Osama Bin Laden

 

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD - by Bill Gates

 

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman

 

MY WILD YEARS - by Al Gore

 

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

 

AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

 

DETROIT: a Travel Guide

 

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen de Generes

 

MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

 

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA

 

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

 

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson

 

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II. Inner Strength

 

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no

fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can do all these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.