= :-)

[Guest guest]

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met

at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed,

however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, "Well,

Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.

I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been

administering an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short,

but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven." Forrest responds,

"It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to

this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test

ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." Saint Peter goes

on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have has only three questions.

Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?

Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first

name?" Forrest goes away to think the questions over. Forrest returns

the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam

questions. Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a

chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."   Forrest

says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the

letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow. The

saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I

was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't

specify, so I give you credit for that answer.How about the next

one?" says Saint Peter, "How many seconds in a year?Now that one's

harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess

the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve!

Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February

second, March second.......Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see

where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that

wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question." says Saint Peter, "Can

you tell me God's first name?"   Forrest says, "Well, shore, I know

God's first name. Everybody knows it. It's Howard.Howard?!" asks

Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's Howard?!" Forrest answers, "It's

in the prayer.The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?You

know, The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest: "Our Father, which art in

Heaven, Howard be thy name......"