All Purpose Excuse Form....

[Guest guest]

All Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've

gotten yourself into. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that

works best for your situation and just go with it. You'll be surprised how

effective this form can be if you just let your instincts guide you!

 

Dear

a) Mom,

b) Dad,

c) Prabhu,

d) Temple President Prabhu,

e) Local Police Chief,

 

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your

 

a) car

b) house

c) garbage can

d) juice maker

e) left arm

 

was severely damaged by my

 

a) infantile

b) puerile

c) inept

d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic

e) woefully under appreciated

 

prank.

 

How could I have known that the

 

a) car

b) jet ski

c) large helium balloon

d) rodent driven sledge

e) Zamboni

 

I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I

should not have pointed it in the direction of your

 

a) house,

b) wife,

c) mahaprasadam plate,

d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete

with lightbulb in the torch,

e) collection of 7-up cans,

 

you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage

that I caused is beyond my ability to

 

a) imagine,

b) fathom,

c) comprehend,

d) appreciate,

e) pay for,

 

and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are

perfectly within your rights to

 

a) hate me,

b) sue me,

c) spank me,

d) take my firstborn,

e) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish

in your koi pond,

 

but I request you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around

at

 

a) gurukul

b) work

c) the ashram

d) the temple courtyard

e) the municipal jail,

 

and to remember that I am first and foremost your

 

a) friend

b) child

c) sibling

d) lease co-signer

e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant.

 

I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that

 

a) was so stupid.

b) was so silly.

c) would have been funny if it worked.

d) you would have done, if you had thought of it first.

e) I'm going to use again on someone else.

 

Yours in service of the Lord,

 

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