[Fwd: Fwd: New Blonde jokes.....]

[Guest guest]

> Enjoy.

>

> A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

> "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat

> this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at

> least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20

> pounds.

> "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my

> instructions?"

> The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to

> drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?No, from skipping."

> .............

>

> A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of

> problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day,

> she

> told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette

> told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's

> not legal.That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell

> the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of

> mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn

> the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a

> problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made

> the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked

> the

> blonde, "Did you sell your car?No," replied the blonde, "why should

> I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

> .................

>

> So there's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and

> sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can

> I

> get to the other side?"

> The second blonde looks up the river then down the

> river then shouts back, "You are on the other side."

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