Knowledgebase

[Guest guest]

Dear prabhus and matas,

 

PAMHO. AGTSP.

 

I am puting this up as a public service notice for the benefit of many of

you who are planning to visit India for Gaura Purnima festival season.

 

(And in case you are dropping by at Juhu, please don't forget to sponsor one

of our Sri Sri Radharasabihariji Maha-Samosa for me! All glories to your

service.)

 

yfs

Avadhut das

---------

 

Rules of the road - Indian style

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a

Sanskrit text. These 10 rules of the Indian road are being made available

to the devotee community for the first time in English. (Even the GBC's

don't know about it yet!)

 

 

ARTICLE I

~~~~~~~~~

The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

 

 

ARTICLE II

~~~~~~~~~~

Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste system.

The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending

order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars,

camels, light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles,

scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-

carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

 

 

ARTICLE III

~~~~~~~~~~~

All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim:

to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat.

 

 

ARTICLE IV

~~~~~~~~~~

Long horn blasts (desperate) denote supplication, ie to oncoming truck,

"I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die".

In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights

(frantic).

 

Single blast (casual) means "I have seen someone out of India's 870 million

whom I recognise", or "I have not blown my horn for several seconds now."

 

Trucks and buses (IV,2,a): All horn signals have the same meaning,

viz, "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no

intention of stopping, even if I could."

 

This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps (insouciant).

Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedence

in Article II above

 

 

ARTICLE V

~~~~~~~~~

All manoeuvres use of horn and evasive action must be left until the last

possible moment.

 

 

ARTICLE VI

~~~~~~~~~~

In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall wear

garlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.

 

 

ARTICLE VII

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has

traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.

 

Lane discipline (VII,1): All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective

of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of Roundabouts. Apparent

traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no traffic management

function. Any other impression should be ignored.

 

 

ARTICLE IX

~~~~~~~~~~

Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every

other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you.

Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in

the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle

of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between

your vehicle and the one you are passing - and one inch in the case of

bicycles or pedestrians.

 

ARTICLE X

~~~~~~~~~

A quick visit to the higher planets / Vaikuntha may be obtained through the

head-on crash when accompanied by chanting of 'haram'.

 

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