Wife 1.0

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna.

 

Dear Tech Support,

 

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, and I can find no

documentation on several features. For example, Wife 1.0 installs

itself into all other programs and launches during system initiali-

zation where it monitors all other system activity. Applications

such as RunAnywhere 10.3 and StayOut 2.5 cause freezes, and the new

program has also spawned a couple unexpected child processes that

have taken up a lot of space and resources.n I had thought about

going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but there is no "revert to previous

state" feature. Can you help me?

On my knees, K. Lewis

---

 

Dear K. Lewis,

 

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly

due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend

1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &

ENTERTAINMENT" program.

 

Wife 1.0 is actually an entire OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its

creator to run everything. WARNING! DO NOT try to: un-install,

delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying

to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disasterious, resulting in the loss of

valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0

because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. There is no backdoor;

some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 and found the

proplems persist, or even tried to run Girlfriend 2.0 in the back-

ground while Wife 1.0 is running. Inevitably, a system conflict

occurs; possibly leading to a non-recoverable system crash. We

recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and adjust a few user input parameters.

 

I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General

Protection Faults (GPFs). Should a GPF occur, the best course of

action will be to push the apologize button then reset button AS SOON

AS lock-up occurs. The system will run smooth as long as you provide

needed maintenance time. It is possible to free up CPU time; be sure

that several of your search and scan routines are stopped.

 

Because of the unique system each copy runs on, no one manual will

cover all enabled features. New users should first consult with

those who have been running Wife 1.0 for many years before installing

a copy yourself. You might consider joining one of our established

local users group to discuss your specific configuration. Remember,

the installation of Wife 1.0 can allow maximum system potential.

Killer apps Contentment 2.5 and Reliability 6.12a have been known to

max out when run with TLC 2 and Communicator 5.0. There are no plans

for upgrades; Wife 1.0 was designed to work for a lifetime.

 

Hare Krishna --

 

ys, Balarama Dasa