Toy Story

[Guest guest]

Found on the net

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[from Mike Porter, via HAND!]

Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century

 

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.

 

Hare Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.

 

Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

 

Anglican - They were our toys first.

 

Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.

 

Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

 

Atheism - There is no toy maker.

 

Polytheism - There are many toy makers.

 

Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.

 

Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.

 

Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to

hell if we catch you selling yours.

 

B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.

 

Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

 

Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

 

Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

 

Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.

 

Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!

 

Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

 

7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

 

Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.

 

Baptist - Once played, always played.

 

Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

 

Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.

 

Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.

 

Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

 

Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just

play with them.

 

Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of

difference.

 

[added by C. David Salico, on EcuLaugh]

 

Liberalism - I feel good playing with toys, don't you. That is why I know I

am going to heaven

 

Republicans - If you don't repeal this tax on all toys, you will go to hell.

 

Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.

 

Baha'i Faith -- Let's play with our toys together.

 

Baptist -- We have played with this toy this way for years, and we are not

going to change.

 

Presbyterian- These toys were chosen for you to play with and these were

chosen for me to play.

 

Apostolic Faith (Oneness Movement) - There is only one toy, and it is in our

church.

 

Crystal Cathedral - There are no bad toys, and no bad toy players.

 

Methodist - Toys are toys are toys.

 

Assembly of God -It doesn't matter how you play with the toys as long as

more people join in with you.

 

Name-it-Claim-it - I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I

have toys. I have toys. I have toys.

 

Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more

toys."

 

Witchcraft - Toy making is killing our Earth Goddess.

 

[added by Steve Weston]

 

Lutheranism -- We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work,

lest anyone should boast).