Guest guest Posted April 28, 1999 Report Share Posted April 28, 1999 Q: Why do devotees of the jokes conference like Ava jokes?? A: Because they can understand them. Q: How do you measure Ava's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear! Q: Why does Ava wear his hair up? A: To catch as much as he can that is over his head. Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP AVA BUSY ALL DAY? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner. Q: Ava is going to Mayapur on a plane, how can you steal his window seat? A: Tell him the seats that are going to Mayapur are all in the middle row. Q: What is Ava doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: Why did Ava stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'. Q: Why does Ava work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to re-train him on Monday. Q: What did Ava do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: He turned it over and used the other side. Q: How do you confuse Ava? A: You don't. He's born that way. Q: How do you keep Ava in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) Q: How do you keep Ava busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: Why can't Ava make ice cubes? A: He always forgets the recipe. Q: How did Ava try to kill the bird? A: He threw it off a cliff. Q: What's the difference between Ava and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. Q: What does Ava say when you ask his if his blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. Q: What do you get when you offer Ava a penny for his thoughts? A: Change. Q: What do you call Ava in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. Q: What do you call Ava with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: What do you call Ava in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: What do you see when you look into Ava's eyes? A: The back of his head. Q: Why did Ava take his typewriter to the doctor ?? A: He thought it was pregnant because it missed a period. Q: Why is Ava hurt by peoples words? A: Because devotees of the jokes conference keep hitting him with dictionaries. Q: When is it legal to shoot Ava in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Q: Whats the difference between an Ava and a Supermarket Trolley ? A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Sri: "how did you get the car in the living room"? Ava: "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left." Sri: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" Ava: "No, who wrote it?" What about Ava's wife who gave birth to twins? He is out looking for the other man. Ava and Vik observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Vik: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Ava: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down! Did you here about Ava who stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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