From a christian newsletter

[Guest guest]

First Baptist Church,

Oklahoma City, OK

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THE CHURCH STAFF

 

PASTOR...

 

Is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound;

Is more powerful than a locomotive;

Is faster than a speeding bullet;

Walks on water;

Gives policies to God.

 

ASSOCIATE PASTOR...

 

Is able to leap short buildings in a single bound;

Is as powerful as a switch engine;

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet;

Walks on water if the sea is calm;

Talks with God.

 

EDUCATIONAL DIRECTOR...

 

Leaps short buildings with a running start;

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine;

Is faster than a speeding BB;

Walks on water if he knows where the stumps are;

Talks with God if special request is approved.

 

MUSIC DIRECTOR...

 

Clears a quonset hut;

Loses race with a locomotive;

Can fire a speeding bullet;

Swims well;

Is occasionally addressed by God.

 

YOUTH DIRECTOR...

 

Runs into small buildings;

Recognizes locomotives two out of three times;

Used a squirt gun in college;

Knows how to use the water fountain;

Mumbles to himself.

 

CHURCH SECRETARY...

 

Lifts buildings to walk under them;

Kicks locomotives off the track;

Catches speeding bullets in her teeth;

Freezes water with a single glance;

When God speaks, she says, "May I ask who's calling?".