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This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service

bloopers:

 

 

* Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church

and community.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we

have a nursery downstairs.

* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First

Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the

side entrance.

* Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday

nights. She's used the program herself and has been

growing like crazy!

* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the

birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.

Julius Belzer.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and

North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at

both ends.

* Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.

All ladies giving milk will please come early.

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come

forward and lay an egg on the altar.

* The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of

the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the

congregation will join in.

* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray

the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do

something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every

kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

* Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to

follow.

* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the

addition of several new members and to the deterioration

of some older ones.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation

who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be

"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir

practice.

* During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare

privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe

supplied our pulpit.

* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his

audience.

* The church is glad to have with us today as our guest

minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with

him. After the service we request that all remain in the

sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

* The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's

Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The

congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and

11.

* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church

secretary.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in

preparing for the girth of their first child.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items

to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple

children.