Some light entertainment from that veritable seat of learning

[Guest guest]

Prabhus,

 

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

 

Something to cheer you up as the festive season verily doth come upon us,

 

I guess humour must be a natural feature of the soul - that's my excuse

anyway!

 

YS, RMd

__________________________

________

 

COMPILATION OF ACTUAL STUDENT GCSE ANSWERS IN THE UK

 

Mummies inhabited ancient Egypt and they all wrote in hydraulics. They

lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the

Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

 

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread

which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide

to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

 

The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

 

Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

 

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.

They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his

death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

 

History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very

long.

 

Magna Carter provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same

offence.

 

Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while

standing on his son's head.

 

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and

started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100

foot clipper.

 

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote

Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise

Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

 

The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and

many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

 

One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in

their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post

without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay

for taxis.

 

Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared,

'A horse divided against itself cannot stand.' Franklin died in 1790 and is

still dead.

 

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died

in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own

hands.

 

Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the

autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

 

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number

of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in

his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous

composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half

Italian and half English. He was very large. Beethoven wrote music even

though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music.

 

The sun never sets on the British Empire because the British Empire is in

the East and the sun sets in the West.

 

Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She

was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which

ended her reign.