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This handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers.

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The Task: GO TO THE STORE

 

MS-DOS 5.0: You get in the car and try to remember where you put your

keys.

 

MS Dos 6.0: You go to get in your car to go to the store but the car has

been run over by a steam roller.

 

Windows: You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly,

because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.

 

Windows NT: You get in the car and write a letter that says "go to the

store." Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to

your dashboard.

 

Macintosh: You get in the car to go to the store, and the car drives

you to church.

 

UNIX: You get in the car and type GREP STORE. After reaching

speeds of 200 miles per hour en route, you arrive at the

barber shop.

 

Taligent/Pink: You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you

how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in

his Learjet.

 

OS/2: After fueling up with 6000 gallons of gas, you get in the

car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a

marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows

up, killing everybody in town.

 

S/36 SSP: You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there

you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way,

you are run over by kids on mopeds.

 

AS/400: An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to

the store, where you get to watch everybody else buy wafers.

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