Conveyance or inconvenience

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Used Car Buyers Guide: The Reality

 

MUST SELL

..before it blows up.

 

QUICK SALE REQUIRED

..and Im leaving town......!

 

RUNS FINE

..I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last-minute

concience attack.

 

NEEDS SOME BODY WORK

..was blindsided by a Truck.

 

ONLY ONE OWNER

..who died in it years ago.

 

WELL-MAINTAINED

..I changed the oil occasionally.

 

LOOKS LIKE NEW

..just don't try to drive it anywhere.

 

GOOD BODY WORK

..for a hundred year olde

 

VERY TIDY

..extra bit and pieces in the black bags in the boot

 

ALL ORIGINAL

..I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.

 

OLDER MODEL

..what do you mean, "I didn't know they had cars then?"

 

LOADED WITH OPTIONS

..each one more troublesome than the last.

 

NEVER SMOKED IN

..unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.

 

PROJECT CAR

..doesn't run.

 

LOTS OF POTENTIAL

..doesn't run.

 

AIR CONDITIONING

..no that window doesn't close

 

NEEDS MINOR REPAIR

..doesn't run.

 

AS USED BY GREAT DIGNITARY

..Julius Ceasure

 

$500 O.N.O. (or nearest offer)

..really want to get rid of it

 

EASY ON GAS

..I think it owns shares in Mobil Oil!!!

 

GREAT LITTLE TOWN RUN-ABOUT

..you run-about town looking for antiquated parts for it

 

JUST GOES AND GOES

..clock turned back several times to make milage look less

 

TREASURED IN FAMILY

..no-one would buy it

 

AS IS, WHERE IS

..you'll probably need a front end loading fork-lift to move it

 

POSSIBLE VINTAGE INVESTMENT

..will join the others in the back yard (front yard in some countries)

 

POWER STEERING

..NEED heaps of physical POWER to turn the wheel

 

COACH-BUILT UPHOLSTERY

..in the days where coaches were still running

 

GOING FOR A SONG

..(bird song) CHEAP, CHEAP

 

TINTED WINDOWS

..never cleaned

 

BUCKET SEATS

..once in one, you can't get out

 

STEERING WHEEL COVER

..sticky mess from kids playing racing drivers

 

FORMER PRIDE OF FLEET

..the Spanish Armarda

 

SHOW-ROOM MODEL

..we couldn't get it started then either

 

THE BEST AVAILABLE TYRES

..at a price i was willing to pay to get rid of it

 

AMAZING ATTRACTION

..people laugh as it goes down the street

 

MATCHES PERFORMANCE

..of others of its vintage

 

FULL WARANTEE

..stuffed

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION

..if you're still interested, and you get back to me, you're a sucker

 

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* Purohit JAya Tirtha ChAran dAsan \\\\ //// ø |\/\/\/| º * *

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