very ha-ha

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Letter COM:1838972 (141 lines)

Internet: Wyle E. Coyote <stuc (AT) direct (DOT) ca>

09-Nov-98 17:48

Sridhar Swami [15061]

"Boyle, Joe" <bba (AT) ccinet (DOT) ab.ca>

"Clark, Brian" <blclark (AT) pinc (DOT) com>

"Colcleugh, Fiona" <fcolcleugh (AT) farris (DOT) com>

"Dent, Kerry" <kdent5 (AT) home (DOT) com>

"Dorey, Jeff" <jdorey (AT) planet (DOT) eon.net>

"Downs, Bill" <billdo (AT) radiant (DOT) net>

"Elder, Pat" <patricia_elder (AT) bc (DOT) sympatico.ca>

"Giske, Karen and Harley" <kahar (AT) bc (DOT) sympatico.ca>

"Harrell, Gayla" <GLHARRELL (AT) aol (DOT) com>

"harvey, brian & gail" <harv (AT) uniserve (DOT) com>

"Howe, Mark1" <mhowe (AT) inmediapresents (DOT) com>

"Linn, Ken" <klinn32m (AT) earthlink (DOT) net>

"Mason, Boyd" <WE8493 (AT) wpl2 (DOT) wei.org>

"Mason, Michelle & Jeff Schutts" <110246.320 (AT) compuserve (DOT) com>

"Nolan, Brian & Holly" <hlayte (AT) ican (DOT) net>

"Ovenell-Carter, Brad & Jules" <occ (AT) direct (DOT) ca>

"Rimmer, Arnold J." <smeneice (AT) direct (DOT) ca>

"Ross, Jim" <mantaray (AT) lightspeed (DOT) bc.ca>

O'Brien Vicki <vickio (AT) home (DOT) com>

very ha-ha

---------------------------

>>> >Courtroom jokes

>>> >

>>> >

>>> > From a book called "Disorder in the Court." things people

actually said

>>> >in court, word for word.

>>> >

>>> > Q: What is your date of birth?

>>> > A: July fifteenth.

>>> > Q: What year?

>>> > A: Every year.

>>> >

>>> >

>>> > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

>>> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

>>> >

>>> > Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?

>>> > A: Yes.

>>> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

>>> > A: I forget.

>>> > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've

 

>>> > forgotten?

>>> >

>>> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.

>>> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

>>> > Q: How long has he lived with you?

>>> > A: Forty-five years.

>>> >

>>> > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke

that

>>> > morning?

>>> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

>>> > Q: And why did that upset you?

>>> > A: My name is Susan.

>>> >

>>> > Q: And where was the location of the accident?

>>> > A: Approximately milepost 499.

>>> > Q: And where is milepost 499?

>>> > A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

>>> > A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

>>> > A: After the accident?

>>> > Q: Before the accident.

>>> > A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the

voodoo or

>>> > the occult?

>>> > A: We both do.

>>> > Q: Voodoo?

>>> > A: We do.

>>> > Q: You do?

>>> > A: Yes, voodoo.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue

 

>>> lights

>>> >flashing?

>>> > A: Yes.

>>> > Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

>>> > A: Yes, sir.

>>> > Q: What did she say?

>>> > A: What disco am I at?

>>> >

>>> > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

>>> > A: Yes.

>>> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?

>>> >

>>> > Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

>>> > A: Yes.

>>> > Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

>>> >

>>> > Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't

you?

>>> > A: I went to Europe, sir.

>>> > Q: And you took your new wife?

>>> >

>>> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

>>> > A: By death.

>>> > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

>>> >

>>> > Q: Can you describe the individual?

>>> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

>>> > Q: Was this a male, or a female?

>>> >

>>> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice

>>> > which I sent to your attorney?

>>> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

>>> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

>>> >

>>> > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

 

>>> > A: Oral.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

>>> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

>>> > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

>>> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

>>> >

>>> > Q: You were not shot in the fracas?

>>> > A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

>>> >

>>> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

>>> > A: No.

>>> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

>>> > A: No.

>>> > Q: Did you check for breathing?

>>> > A: No.

>>> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the

>>> >autopsy?

>>> > A: No.

>>> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

>>> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

>>> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

>>> > A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

 

>>> > somewhere.

>

>

>Brian R. Scott, P. Eng

>Henderson, Paddon & Associates Ltd.

>945 3rd Avenue East

>OWEN SOUND ONTARIO

>N4K 2K8

>Phone: 519 376-7612 ext. 227

>Fax:519 376-8008

>Web: http://www.hp.on.ca

>

>

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