From the Oracle...

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna.

 

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(o o) ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST

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These are spelling and grammar errors found on chart review at a

hospital on the east coast:

 

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the

pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

 

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 

The skin was moist and dry.

 

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until

1989 when she got a divorce.

 

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

 

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane

ran out of gas and crashed.

 

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

therapy.

 

The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

 

Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family

in no distress.

 

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

 

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who

is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

 

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los

Angeles.

 

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

She is numb from her toes down.

 

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

 

While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a

stockbroker instead.

 

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

 

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children

 

Hare Krishna --

 

ys, Balarama Dasa