THE 12 NIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS

[Guest guest]

(Sing along)

 

Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is

 

ONE: Finding a Christmas tree.

****

 

TWO

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Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

 

THREE

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The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Inebriated man

(3): Hangovers,

2: Rigging up the lights,

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

 

FOUR

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The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,

3: Hangovers,

2: Rigging up the lights,

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

FIVE

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The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Sending Christmas cards,

3: Hangovers,

2: Rigging up the lights,

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

 

SIX

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The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,

3: Hangovers,

2: Rigging up these lights,

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

****

 

SEVEN

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The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,

6: Facing my in-laws,

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Sending Christmas cards,

3: Oh, Jeez!

2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

 

EIGHT

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The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Loud kid (8): I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!

7: Charities

6: And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Oh, making out these cards,

3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?

2: What? We have no extension cords?!?

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

****

 

NINE

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The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,

8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!

7: Donations!

6: Facing my in-laws,

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Writing out those Christmas cards,

3: Hangovers,

2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

TEN

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The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Toy-commercial voice (10): "Batteries not included",

9: No parking spaces,

8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!

7: Get a job, yo prabhu!!!

6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,

3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!

2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

ELEVEN

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The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,

10: "Batteries not included",

9: No parking spaces,

8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!

7: Charities!!

6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!

3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?

2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

 

 

TWELVE

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The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,

11: Stale TV specials,

10: "Batteries not included",

9: No parking?

8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

7: Charities!

6: Gotta make 'em dinner!

Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,

4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!

3: Shut up, you!

2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!

Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.