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Dear Raktambara Prabhu:

Could you please post this letter to all COM users?

Thank you.

Jagannatha Mishra das

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Dear Vaisnavas worldwide:

 

Bhaktin Yukari (29 yrs) passed away in the brahma-muhurta of Saturday, 4

March in New Govardhana (Australia) with the blesings of the devotees and

duly ceremonies conducted.

 

She leaves two children of two and five years old.

 

I (her husband) am begging herewith for your blesings and good wishes.

 

Thank you.

 

Jagannatha Mishra das

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The following are the only writtings of her diary. May you find them

inspiring.

 

September, 15, 1998

 

"…in some days I will know the cancer test results. I am nervous and worried

about that.

 

Life in this material world teaches me that is hard and boring with little

dashes of happiness and enjoyment.

 

But since I know Krishna consciousness I know that I am a very fortunate

person and my boring days can be all very special if I want. I realise

that, now that maybe I have little time left. "You appreciate things when

you lose them".

 

In any case I hope to value things from now on, no matter what are the

news".

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September, 16, 1998

 

What are my goals and desires?

 

-Live enough for self realisation

-To feel real love for my spiritual master and Krishna

-No more fears. Only transcendence

-To be able to help and inspire others towards the goal of life: Krishna

-To see my children grow strong and happy in Krishna consciousness

-To really manage to help my dear husband so that this is his last birth

 

I hope Krishna grants me all of them.

------------------------------

My dear Krishna, forgive me for I am always asking You things!

Forgive this fallen soul and give me your blessings so I can meet my Guru

Maharaj and please him, pleasing You as a result.

Dear Lord of my heart, please embrace me tight and do not allow me to to

feel fear anymore, only happiness by Your side, eternally.

--

September, 17, 1998

 

Yesterday midnight I came to know at last what I have in the mouth. Yes, jaw

cancer.

 

The Dr wanted to tell me personally, so we went to see him very late at

night.

 

I cannot forget the grief in the tearful face of my husband, when he came to

tell me. Actually he could not…

 

I do not consider myself a strong person and these days I am passing through

very tough tests.

 

What only alleviates me is to chant the Holy Name of Krishna. My God, I am

aware that I depend completely on You and Your causeless mercy.

 

I feel coward, like fleeing out as always do when there are tests, but this

time I can not escape.

 

Thanks to my husband's help is that I can confront this. Thank you Krishna

for giving me this support.

 

These days I am aware how cruel can be our own mind; as it is said in

Bhagavad gita "can be your best friend or your worse enemy". It's clear

that must be subdued with the strength of the Holy Name of Krishna.

 

I have preached to the Dr.

I hope he realises what is the goal of life and surrenders to Krishna. He is

a good person and very intelligent. I think there are many chances for this.

Good luck.

 

I am writing this diary also in case for some reason I leave my body soon,

my children can understand the test I am going through and maybe this helps

their spiritual advancement.

 

My dear children, I love you much and one reason giving me strength to

recover is to look after you in Krishna consciousness. May Krishna desire

so.

 

I feel fear, anguish, but I'll go over that, isn't? Chant Hare Krishna Hare

Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

and be happy.

-------

 

My Lord, dear Krishna. Please forgive my countless offences and kindly give

me intelligence so I can bathe in the mercy ocean that is always flowing

around us, cleaning my heart of anger, fear and lust.

 

Dear Krishna, allow me to understand my spiritual master's instructions and

therefore please him. May I meet him soon! Meanwhile, my Lord, please give

me the discernment to act rightly so that I purify this battered body and

poor soul that cries because is not happy.

 

In your hands I am. Guide me. I am following You. I'll try.

 

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