Vaishnava Brahmacharya

[Guest guest]

Notes on

a lecture on Vaisnava brahmacarya and grhastha asramas

 

Bhaktividya Purna Swami Maharaja

Principal of Sri Rupanuga Paramarthika Vidyapitha, ISKCON Mayapur

 

 

We have to understand Brahmacarya and Grhastha asramas in the context of the

spiritual or Daiva Varnasrama as chalked out by the Vaisnava spiritual

masters. Opposed to daiva varnasrama is aasura varnasrama. This is demoniac

because it does not take us to Lord Krishna. Rather it takes us to the path

of sense enjoyment. It is called pravrtti-maarga or smaarta. Daiva

Varnasrama is nivrtti-maarga. In Daiva Varnasrama, all members have the

common goal of making spiritual advancement and detaching ourselves from the

illusory forms of maya and to attain spiritual realization. It is based on

attaching ourselves to Krsna and getting detachment from Maya.

 

It is very important for the Brahmacaris and Grhasthas to understand the

principles of each others asrama. Both have to develop proper respect

towards and harmony with each other's asramas.

 

The process of Vedic education has the following 4 steps of learning:

1. Hearing (or sravana)

2. Understanding (or manana or jnaana)

3. Realization (or upalabdhi or vijnaana)

4. Teaching based on realization or siksaa

 

The difference between understanding and realization is that in the stage of

realization ones activities have changed because they are based on his

realization and they are from one who simply has understood theoretically

the Vedic teachings and who hasn't changed his behavior despite his

theoretical understanding.

 

Now the Brahmacaris are trained to hear (sravana) and to understand

(jnaana). Since the goal of daiva varnasrama is to develop spiritual

realization, it is essential that one develops a taste for Krsna

consciousness and a distaste towards illusion. Thus the brahmacaris are

trained in this way.

 

There are two levels of brahmacarya and two kinds of brahmacarya.

 

The two kinds of brahmacaris are called the naisthika brahmacari and the

upakurvaana brahmacari. They are in the first level of brahmacarya.

 

The naisthika brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has understood

about Krsna and maya; and he has developed realization about Krsna and maya.

Therefore he has a taste for KC and distaste for maya.

 

The upakurvaana brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has also

understood about Krsna and maya from the hearing; but he hasn't developed

realization of Krsna and maya. Due to previous mental habits and

conditioning, he still thinks that there is some substantial pleasure in a

woman's association. Still, because he has understood the Veda, he practices

KC seriously and in an appropriate time and manner he will take up grhastha

asrama. Therefore he prepares to enter into KC household life.

 

Both the naisthika and upakurvaana are in the first level of brahmacarya

because both of them have understood that pure KC is worthwhile and pursuit

of pleasure in maya is not but the upakurvaana's mental conditioning from

the past doesn't fully convince him of that and prevents him from developing

realization. Still, because they have understood from the Veda, they are

considered first class.

 

The naisthika brahmacari hears that association with the opposite sex is

like a deep dark well. [At this point in class, Giri Govardhan das, a

Grhastha devotee, laughs loudly. Maharaja says, "See, this is called

realization. We are talking and the brahmacaris are listening. They are not

saying anything but he has the realization that the household asrama is a

blind well and is laughing. This is realization."]

 

Anyway, but because the naisthika brahmacari is so strong in KC and is

endowed with humility, immense service attitude and tolerance, he realizes

that association with the opposite gender is not really worthwhile simply by

hearing seriously. He is simple. During [Annual Gaura Purnima] Festival

time, when he is asked to leave the first floor of the brahmacari asrama

[for the visiting devotees], he does it without grudges. And when the

[Ganges] flood comes, he goes to the Chakra Building. No problem. He is not

extremely about the taste of the prasada. He is simple.

 

But an upakurvaana get married. Why? He does it so that he can realize that

maya is painful and that only pure KC is bliss. The goal of the upakurvaana

is thus the same as that of a naisthika: to realize Krsna and develop

detachment from maya. And for that he goes through the grhastha asrama and

then vanaprastha asrama and comes to this realization. Actually this is the

goal of the entire daiva varnasrama: to become detached from maya and

attached to Krsna.

 

Now I shall tell about the Second Level of Brahmacarya. This is the Second

Class brahmacari. He thinks that brahmacari means a piece of orange cloth.

Even though he is in the Orange Club, he still is after pleasures of the

material world. Either he stays in the brahmacari asrama and tries to enjoy

the facilities there (he is very choosy about the T-shirt that he wears or

the sun glasses or about the prasadam unnecessarily) or he gets attracted to

a girl and marries her seriously thinking that he will be fully happy being

in a lady's association. He is just bewildered due to maya. He has heard the

Veda (sravana) but he has not understood it (manana or jnaana).

 

Now one thing we should understand is that the upakurvaana has understood

that maya is painful but not realized it whereas the Second Class Orange

Club Member has not understood it (what to speak of realizing it!).

 

Now let us see what happens when a Second Class brahmacari gets married and

compare it with what happens when a First Class Upakurvaana brahmacari gets

married.

 

Our Second Class brahmacari gets attracted to the girl and falls into the

deep dark well. But he imagines that there are nice fragrant lakes with blue

water lilies and parks and entertainment in the deep dark well. When he hits

the rockbed, thud! "What happened? I married a beautiful sweet girl but who

is this in front of me?" he questions after a few years. "Why is there so

much problem in life?" Then he may come to another great conclusion.

"Actually there is absolutely no problem in me. The problem is in the girl

whom I married. Better let me get another one. Then things will be

smoother." And so he gets another, and another. [Maharaja says: I have seen

this. I am not exaggerating.] And this Grhastha life is called Second Class

Grhastha life.

 

The upakurvaana, on the other hand, doesn't get up from bed one fine

morning, go to the bathroom and while brushing his teeth, tell his

reflection, "You have to get married, you know!" No. He knows that he is

going to enter a deep dark well. Therefore he also prepares for it

realistically in such a way that he can keep KC as his first essential

priority and maintenance of house, wife and children as his secondary but

very important priority. This is because he has already heard from the

teachings of the acaryas that these are called gauna-bhakti or secondary

supportive practices in devotional service, to take care of his Vaisnavi

wife, etc. But the primary practices take prominence. He knows that the

problem is his mind, his wife's mind and so on. He knows that pure

devotional service to Krsna is the only solution. He understand that there

is no real security in his household or, for that matter, anywhere in the

material existence. And both the husband and wife focus on service to Krsna,

devotee association, hearing the SB, etc., which are called mukhya-bhakti.

Thus they gradually develop realization that only pure KC is worthwhile and

that maya is painful. This is a First Class Grhastha.

 

Now the girls also can be categorized into First Class and Second Class. A

First Class girl likes to get married to someone who was a First Class

brahmacari (upakurvaana). She knows that he is trying to advance in

spiritual life. She assists him as a dharma-patni (religious wife) in both

his primary bhakti and secondary bhakti. And she hears (sravana), she

develops understanding (manana) and she also realizes (upalabdhi). [Here

Maharaja cites an experience he had in Eastern Europe, "Once I was talking

to a Brahmacari who was thinking of getting married. There was also a

grhastha couple sitting while this brahmacari was talking to me. After some

time, she said, "I shall talk to him about this." And she talked the

brahmacari out of marriage. This is because she has the realization."] So

women also develop realization if they follow the proper procedure.

 

The Second Class girl, on the other hand, is more interested in saris and

lip sticks [later, after the class, Maharaja added "She also melts the

brahmacaris with her attire while she walks by them"]. She is not really

into spiritual realization and developing material detachment. She has heard

(sravana) but no understanding (manana). Now something very interesting

happens when a Second Class girl and a Second Class brahmacari marry: she

mashes him up like a mashed potato sabji.

 

So the First Class Grhastha and his First Class wife, after 20 years of

living together come to the natural conclusion that the whole endeavor of

pursuing pleasure in the material realm is just worthless. They realize that

the only times when they were really happy was when they were relating on

the devotional platform. Therefore they realize that there is substantial

pleasure only in devotional service and not in the illusion of maya. They

then take up Vanaprastha and later on the man takes up sannyasa.

 

This brings us to the fourth stage of education which is to teach others for

their benefit based on realization and that is sannyasa. The naisthika

brahmacari naturally comes to this stage and the upakurvaana also after

passing through the Grhastha asrama.

 

In Vedic culture realization and not the asrama is considered foremost. So

compared to the millions of lifetimes of being in material existence, 25

years of going through the grhastha asrama to understand the nature of

devotional service and maya side by side is worthwhile for the upakurvaana.

 

The brahmacaris should not be attached simply to the orange cloth and grit

their teeth thinking "No marriage! No marriage!" and consider that the goal

of their brahmacarya is merely to avoid getting married. This is not KC.

This is thinking of what the other brahmacaris or grhasthas will think about

them when they get married. This is our Second Class Brahmacari attitude.

The issue for the brahmacaris is not just whether the brahmacari is to marry

or not; the issue is whether they can be come up to the stage of realization

(upalabdhi) via brahmacarya itself or through a responsible Vaisnava

grhastha life. That is what has to be considered. The First Class

Upakurvaana Brahmacari doesn't mind getting married to a First Class girl

who will help him understand that this dark well is totally useless and that

he should focus his mind on the Lord.

 

So everyone (the brahmacaris, the grhasthas, the women) has to come to the

First Class platform. They should not remain in the Second Class platform.

Then they will be able to make tangible advancement in spiritual realization

and become detached from maya. Otherwise the much talked about "social

development" in ISKCON is impossible if it is not conducted on the platform

of detachment and spiritual realization.

 

The Second Class Brahmacaris and Second Class Grhasthas fight with each

other. The former tell the latter, "You are all in maya". The latter

respond, "C'mon. We know. You are *also* in maya. Just be honest and get

married." ... and so on.

 

First Class Grhasthas have respect towards naisthika and upakurvaana

brahmacaris. Indeed, if that respect towards the renounced ashrams is not

there, then how is it possible for them to leave the grhastha asrama and

take up vanaprastha? How will they approach something they don't have

respect for?

 

No one should criticize another but everyone should be helped. Everyone

needs help. And help means to assist in upgrading from Second Class to First

Class. In that way, everyone can attain to the lotus feet of Krsna.