FW: Acme Y2K backup...

[Guest guest]

>

>Here is a Y2K solution for everyone....Happy New Year To All

>

>

>Acme Y2K Backup System.

>

> While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by

>January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim

>they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some

>preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet

>the needs of our customers.

>Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed

>to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations

>failure, or operational delay. This device is the company's Primary

>Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P.E.N.C.I.L.).

>This device has been field tested extensively, including

>certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly

>maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data

>input. Prior to use,

>the (P.E.N.C.I.L.) will require preparation and testing. Tools and

>supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a

>supply of computer paper (with or without holes). Gripping the

>device firmly in your hand, proceed to scrape or grind the wooded end

>until it has a cone-like appearance. The dark core area must be exposed

>to properly function. (Left -handed employees should read this sentence

>backwards, and then go to your supervisor for assistance.)

>Place a single sheet of computer paper on a smooth, hard surface.

>Take the backup device, place the sharpened point against the paper, and

>pull it across the paper. If properly done, this will input a single

>line.

>CAUTION: Excessive force may damage components of the device

>or damage

>the data reception device. If either the P.E.N.C.I.L. or the paper are

>damaged, go back to the preparation instructions above. Proper use

>of the device will require data simulation input by the operator.

>Placing the device against the computer page forming symbols as closely

>resembling the computer lettering system you normally use. At the

>completion of each of the simulated letters, lift the device off the

>page, move it slightly to the right, replace it against the page, and

>form the next symbol. This may appear tedious, and somewhat redundant,

>but, with practice, you should be able to increase your speed and

>accuracy. The P.E.N.C.I.L. is equipped with a manual deletion device.

>The device is located on the reverse end of the P.E.N.C.I.L. Error

>deletions operate similarly to the "backspace" key on your computer.

>Simply place the device against the erroneous data, and pull it

>backwards over the letters. This should remove the error, and enable you

>to resume data entries.

>CAUTION: Excessive force may damage the data reception

>device.

>Insufficient force, however, may result in less than acceptable

>deletion, and may require re-initialization of action as above. This

>device is designed with user maintenance in mind. However, if technical

>support is required, you can still call your local computer desk

>supervisor at (800)-YOU-DUMMY.

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